Read New Republic's article How Older Parenthood Will Upend American Society and Seeking Alpha's Chinese and American Demographics Contrasted and weep. Or, if you are in my shoes: feel guilt and shame from the Parenthood one and a depressing vindication with the other.
Macro view: I know such news isn't new. The Romans dealt with this issue as did almost every culture where women have choice regarding their futures-- the mother's death has been a common side effect of birth throughout history. We've largely distanced ourselves from that reality, but we haven't the costs of parenting-- women still bear the brunt of that.
Micro view: I also come from a family who has only one aunt who started having children in her 20's. My mom had her first child at age 31 and her last one at 41. My grandmother had her last child at age 41. Neither my brother or uncle has any birth defects. It never occurred to me that I would have children in my 20's, but it also never occurred to me that I'd be single at age 33. It's as one older lady told me at church, "But, you're not that ugly." And, statistically speaking, the odds of either happening are minimal to nonexistent. I am a brave new world with little guidance. The evangelical church is geared towards men and families. Maybe that's the problem with the modern American church? We're more interested in demographics than God, worship and obedience. Churches have foci on "seekers" or "family-friendly" or whatever. Maybe we should be a little more focused on God-- and the seekers and families will come?
It seems to me that the demographic shifts are being studied in terms of education and income. But, I wonder what deeper issues related to identity and spiritual belief are at stake? Where is the church in this seismic shift? I'd like to see a study linking church attendance and debt to income levels into the marriage and children mix. Where does the shift in importance of entertainment, stuff and education fit into the mix? I think the shift from a saving culture to a credit culture is a shift in conceptualization of the future and personal responsibility: an anthropological and theological shift. We're talking about trends in sexuality, households, and lifestyle-- this is profound.
I'm finding the only worthwhile way to combat the worry (macro and micro) has been digging into a study of Exodus. How's that for an apparent non sequitur? But, then again, maybe not. Yahweh responds to all of Moses's legitimate worries in Chapter 3: "I am." This answer denotes God's authority and presence. The verb is of "active being." God is also equating being God of the fathers (Abraham, Jacob and Isaac) with being the God who is present and active (and in charge of) the Israelites in Egypt. God is as present now as He was then. As problematic as this seems, perhaps slavery and attempted genocide weighed just as heavily on the Israelites... or more so. Maybe like Moses, I should change my question from "who am I" to asking God "who are you?"
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
grand slam!
2. I made some delicious blackberry yoghurt cake after getting a half gallon of blackberries at the farmers' market. Don't worry: it only uses a small bowl. This is really simple and quick... provided you have the 6 ingredients or so. I highly recommend it. (Yes, I cheated on my madness/diet.)
3. I went with my cousin who's going into 10th grade to the free night at the Mint Uptown Art Gallery. We had a lot of fun. It's nice to go with a kindred spirit-- she was enthralled by all the dogs in portraits as I was... or at least she pretended to be. And, she was entertained by the private party too. There was a human contortionist in this inordinately large clear ball. It was bizarre and disturbing, and I couldn't stop staring. Not to mention, there was a girl in glammed-out fire-engine-red ball gown with a gigantic bow over her butt. It was very surreal. The guests (except for a few guys) seemed far more interested in chatting with one another. Then, after our high-faluting gallery visit, we ate white trash burgers and crab puppies at Pinkie's Westside Grill. It was pretty awesome. (Yes, I cheated again.)
4. I applied to my overseas positions. I'm a little nervous and incredibly excited about the opportunity. My main hesitation is the feeling that I'm refusing a chance at getting married and having children. But, I figure that it's not like I'm meeting any guys here. And, as long as I'm miserable and depressed, I'm not going to really attract someone worth forever. M helped with the idea of meeting one guy. That's all it takes. I figure there may be the "one guy" in a foreign place. But, overall I'm excited because it'd put me on track financially and career-wise. I could write while there.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
break-up sadness
I just called off a friendship, and, consequently, I feel sad. It needed to be done. She wanted to meet for coffee, but I'd rather do hot yoga, pass out, and pay for the Emergency Room trip in change to an old, fat, over-bearing accountant scowling at me the entire time. Well, that may be overstating my lack of desire by a small margin. We don't really have anything in common. I don't really care about potty training and arguments over strawberries, and she doesn't care about my fantastic impersonations of customers and immature but overwhelming existential angst.
I had a conversation at reunion with a good friend who happens to be a psychologist. We were discussing my lackluster year, and she said, "I thought you had a lot church friends or something."
I responded, "I did too."
"Where were they?" she countered.
"Hell if I know," I answered.
The friend I broke up with was one of the above named AWOL people. I feel kind of bad talking like that with my Jewish friend. But, I didn't know where my friends were nor where God was in the maelstrom. And, furthermore, I know very few Christians who haven't been deeply wounded by the church and her members. Words are so much easier than actions. Believe me, I know. I'm definitely not the go-to evangelist. Faith doesn't make life easier merely richer and more meaningful.
I've been thinking about friends and friendship often recently. The many people who've disappointed me have really high-lighted the amazing friends that I do have. The shoddy, generic friendships offer foil for the real deal. Maybe I'll cobble together a coherent couple of paragraphs on the subject.
I had a conversation at reunion with a good friend who happens to be a psychologist. We were discussing my lackluster year, and she said, "I thought you had a lot church friends or something."
I responded, "I did too."
"Where were they?" she countered.
"Hell if I know," I answered.
The friend I broke up with was one of the above named AWOL people. I feel kind of bad talking like that with my Jewish friend. But, I didn't know where my friends were nor where God was in the maelstrom. And, furthermore, I know very few Christians who haven't been deeply wounded by the church and her members. Words are so much easier than actions. Believe me, I know. I'm definitely not the go-to evangelist. Faith doesn't make life easier merely richer and more meaningful.
I've been thinking about friends and friendship often recently. The many people who've disappointed me have really high-lighted the amazing friends that I do have. The shoddy, generic friendships offer foil for the real deal. Maybe I'll cobble together a coherent couple of paragraphs on the subject.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
lesson
I went to a church meeting about a major decision. I was expecting to figure out what was going on-- what ideas were at stake. I'm less clear about what happened and the conflict. But, that was the point of the meeting: it's not about being factual and correct. It's about unity, love and being under authority. An attorney on the committee said to think about the situation in terms of interpretation rather than choice. Our pastor said that we needed to withhold judgment and wait and see because there was a lot of information and misinformation. We also needed to trust that the Spirit was at work.
I learned a lot listening to the lecture and conversation. It made me respect these people even more. I didn't figure out what I wanted to, and that's okay. In fact, not getting what you want can be a very good thing. There's life application in this.
I learned a lot listening to the lecture and conversation. It made me respect these people even more. I didn't figure out what I wanted to, and that's okay. In fact, not getting what you want can be a very good thing. There's life application in this.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
relief!
Thursday I finished and faxed my appeal. I faxed it again on Friday just for good measure. My brother took the copy over to the business. My cousin told me to wrap my head around the fact that my winning was a total crap shoot. But, I think the odds are slightly in my favor because of economy and political party in power. I hope I'm right. I really, really hope. It ultimately comes down to who is the referee and God.
I taught my long awaited Advent seminar this morning to six people two of whom I'm related. I had a technology scare this morning: I connected my computer to the projector, and the screen didn't project. Then, about fifteen minutes later it did. Plus an IT guy came. God had it covered. But, it was an ideal start because we could fit around a table and talk, which is what I envisioned. People talked... a little too much. I went in concerned about getting people engaged. The people who came were ready to talk. The problem was I got through about half of my material. We missed some really good stuff. My uncle and brother gave me good feedback; they're probably the most honest. My brother told me that I brought my A game, but I need to work on speaking more fluidly. He said I made little noises (hmm, okay) that detracted from the presentation. He's probably right because I hadn't fully thought out what I was going to say. I made some bullet points. Plus, I was monitoring other people to see how they were doing. Teaching has definitely helped me with facilitating a group. I just called on people to read or respond. A lady pointed out the irony of the words of "o come, o come Emmanuel": we're saying "come" to God-with-us. I wanted a unhurried, meditative pace, and I got it. I might need to speed it up next time. It was a positive experience.
I'm feeling paranoid about church now because this lady I barely know told me while smiling and nodding her head, "Now, I know how you really are." I dodged her question with a vague answer the previous week; it was the kind of thing my grandmother would say. I said something like: "I'll think about it" instead of a flat no. I'm trying to adjust to being in the South. So, I wonder if she gossiped with other ladies.
And, I told my roommate (who goes to the church) that I'd keep her dog for the month of December if she paid me $10/day-- the going rate is at least $25. I thought she'd be pleased. She told me,"You're being outrageous! I'll take the dog to Florida." Then told me how ungrateful I was; um, I pay rent. Rent must not count as gratitude. So I am glad I asked in order to stand up for myself, but I think it definitely put a rift in our relationship because she demonstrated an attitude that's come out before of my owing her something. I promised to keep her dog in September for her trip to Switzerland and in January for her trip to Honduras; I didn't promise to dog sit for month-long periods for free whenever she decides. I miss the dog more... at least so far. I promised myself a new place by May 1st; it may be sooner because there's a weird, unhealthy dynamic. (Seriously?!? This is pathetic, but it took up a lot of head and heart space this week.)
Good news: a weekly tutoring gig is in the works, and it hopefully starts tomorrow. And, a lady contacted me about nannying. I need to find out more, but there's potential. It looks like I may be able to teach in Anchorage just on my Praxis scores; I need to call. I'm back in touch with an old friend in town, which has been really nice. I exercised every day except Thursday; I think joining the gym is going to improve morale. Huzzah!
I taught my long awaited Advent seminar this morning to six people two of whom I'm related. I had a technology scare this morning: I connected my computer to the projector, and the screen didn't project. Then, about fifteen minutes later it did. Plus an IT guy came. God had it covered. But, it was an ideal start because we could fit around a table and talk, which is what I envisioned. People talked... a little too much. I went in concerned about getting people engaged. The people who came were ready to talk. The problem was I got through about half of my material. We missed some really good stuff. My uncle and brother gave me good feedback; they're probably the most honest. My brother told me that I brought my A game, but I need to work on speaking more fluidly. He said I made little noises (hmm, okay) that detracted from the presentation. He's probably right because I hadn't fully thought out what I was going to say. I made some bullet points. Plus, I was monitoring other people to see how they were doing. Teaching has definitely helped me with facilitating a group. I just called on people to read or respond. A lady pointed out the irony of the words of "o come, o come Emmanuel": we're saying "come" to God-with-us. I wanted a unhurried, meditative pace, and I got it. I might need to speed it up next time. It was a positive experience.
I'm feeling paranoid about church now because this lady I barely know told me while smiling and nodding her head, "Now, I know how you really are." I dodged her question with a vague answer the previous week; it was the kind of thing my grandmother would say. I said something like: "I'll think about it" instead of a flat no. I'm trying to adjust to being in the South. So, I wonder if she gossiped with other ladies.
And, I told my roommate (who goes to the church) that I'd keep her dog for the month of December if she paid me $10/day-- the going rate is at least $25. I thought she'd be pleased. She told me,"You're being outrageous! I'll take the dog to Florida." Then told me how ungrateful I was; um, I pay rent. Rent must not count as gratitude. So I am glad I asked in order to stand up for myself, but I think it definitely put a rift in our relationship because she demonstrated an attitude that's come out before of my owing her something. I promised to keep her dog in September for her trip to Switzerland and in January for her trip to Honduras; I didn't promise to dog sit for month-long periods for free whenever she decides. I miss the dog more... at least so far. I promised myself a new place by May 1st; it may be sooner because there's a weird, unhealthy dynamic. (Seriously?!? This is pathetic, but it took up a lot of head and heart space this week.)
Good news: a weekly tutoring gig is in the works, and it hopefully starts tomorrow. And, a lady contacted me about nannying. I need to find out more, but there's potential. It looks like I may be able to teach in Anchorage just on my Praxis scores; I need to call. I'm back in touch with an old friend in town, which has been really nice. I exercised every day except Thursday; I think joining the gym is going to improve morale. Huzzah!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
bible study
I've been waffling about my bible study but no more. The women are absolutely darling. I know that sounds fake and sentimental, but I promise I'm being neither. The women are very much themselves. This means I have a lot in common with a couple and with others next to nothing. My "least Southern Southerner" aspect comes out, especially when dealing with theology.
We discussed Hagar, Ishmael, and circumcision, which made for very interesting conversation. The Bible is incredibly odd and interesting. I feel the most skeptical in the group-- I have to say "Hold up-- that's more than a little weird." What really threw me this study is when Yahweh comforts Hagar by telling her she'll have numerous descendants and her son will be a wild donkey of a man who will constantly fight with others. She replies that Yahweh sees her. The whole interaction seems disjointed and not very believable. I need to read some commentary to make sense of it. Usually I can follow where the people are coming from, especially when they make bad decisions that make you cringe. Yep, I can identify with that. What mom would be excited to be told her son would be a wild donkey of a man?
But, I'm reading through the Pentateuch right now and I'm overwhelmed with God's choice. He's amazing, gracious, personal, truthful, powerful, humble. He's present in Abram's and Sarai's history. He knows them and loves them. The Bible doesn't seem to gloss over the characters' flaws. I love Sarai laughs when Yahweh says she'll have a son... and then she denies it. Abram believes Yahweh about having a son, but then ask for clarification about the land ("So God, what I'm hearing is...). Yahweh seems painfully plainspoken in several conversations. Your offspring will be refugees and slaves and badly treated for 400 years, but the nation will be punished and they'll come out with bounty. Yahweh also seems very specific: the land specs, Sarah will have the baby within the year. Then, it seems like there are parts when he's vague and then later on clarifies.
This Bible Study is a lot like my running club. Reading my bible and running are different activities when alone and when in community. Community is both harder and more fun. There's less room for self-deception surrounded by others. I need these women and this study in order to grow more holy in the same way I need the running club people to grow faster. P.S. Last night's track workout kicked my butt and I did the fat-kid version pyramid (3miles) while most of the real runners did a 4 mile version.
We discussed Hagar, Ishmael, and circumcision, which made for very interesting conversation. The Bible is incredibly odd and interesting. I feel the most skeptical in the group-- I have to say "Hold up-- that's more than a little weird." What really threw me this study is when Yahweh comforts Hagar by telling her she'll have numerous descendants and her son will be a wild donkey of a man who will constantly fight with others. She replies that Yahweh sees her. The whole interaction seems disjointed and not very believable. I need to read some commentary to make sense of it. Usually I can follow where the people are coming from, especially when they make bad decisions that make you cringe. Yep, I can identify with that. What mom would be excited to be told her son would be a wild donkey of a man?
But, I'm reading through the Pentateuch right now and I'm overwhelmed with God's choice. He's amazing, gracious, personal, truthful, powerful, humble. He's present in Abram's and Sarai's history. He knows them and loves them. The Bible doesn't seem to gloss over the characters' flaws. I love Sarai laughs when Yahweh says she'll have a son... and then she denies it. Abram believes Yahweh about having a son, but then ask for clarification about the land ("So God, what I'm hearing is...). Yahweh seems painfully plainspoken in several conversations. Your offspring will be refugees and slaves and badly treated for 400 years, but the nation will be punished and they'll come out with bounty. Yahweh also seems very specific: the land specs, Sarah will have the baby within the year. Then, it seems like there are parts when he's vague and then later on clarifies.
This Bible Study is a lot like my running club. Reading my bible and running are different activities when alone and when in community. Community is both harder and more fun. There's less room for self-deception surrounded by others. I need these women and this study in order to grow more holy in the same way I need the running club people to grow faster. P.S. Last night's track workout kicked my butt and I did the fat-kid version pyramid (3miles) while most of the real runners did a 4 mile version.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
hospitality
I love my (new) church! It's been years since I've felt at home, but now I do. This isn't to say that this church is easy, but that the Spirit is at work... and I'm experiencing it!
I have come to the realization that I need liturgy to worship. People complain that it becomes mere ritual, but for me the familiar words set apart the time and space as something holy. The words and the movements provide a spiritual muscle memory of transformation and openness. Saying the collect for purity: "Almighty God, unto whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hidden, cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit,… that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen." helps prepare my heart. It helps me enter true reality beyond the news and my job-- the beyond aspect to my everyday life. It isn't that this "beyond" in any way decreases the reality of every day, but it's an additional dimension that's impossibly easy for me to dismiss a lot of the time.
The church celebrates Eucharist every Sunday, and I need that too. A reminder that my communion with God is guaranteed by something far more sure than my sputtering, half-hearted good works and of my new identity in Christ-- my sin no longer defines me. Furthermore, I love to watch the procession of people as they head towards the bread and wine-- the equality of the young and old, rich and poor before the cross. But most of all, I appreciate that it's not a weekly funeral for Jesus, but a reminder of what love is and who our God is. Love has nothing to do with Hallmark's sentimentality, and our God is far more wild and beautiful and humble than a heavenly Santa Claus.
The preaching causes me to think and to reorient and to pray. Randy's sermons keep on going well into the week; I have to process them. Here is quite possibly my favorite:Hospitality Toward God. It's the ninth one in the Abraham series and was given December 19th; sorry, I couldn't get the link more precise. It's brilliant and multi-faceted. It's simple yet dramatic in how it builds momentum. And it helps that my book club had just discussed a book on hospitality, and I have to say Randy's sermon had far more impact on me. If you don't have time to listen to the whole thing-- skip to the last part.
I have come to the realization that I need liturgy to worship. People complain that it becomes mere ritual, but for me the familiar words set apart the time and space as something holy. The words and the movements provide a spiritual muscle memory of transformation and openness. Saying the collect for purity: "Almighty God, unto whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hidden, cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit,… that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen." helps prepare my heart. It helps me enter true reality beyond the news and my job-- the beyond aspect to my everyday life. It isn't that this "beyond" in any way decreases the reality of every day, but it's an additional dimension that's impossibly easy for me to dismiss a lot of the time.
The church celebrates Eucharist every Sunday, and I need that too. A reminder that my communion with God is guaranteed by something far more sure than my sputtering, half-hearted good works and of my new identity in Christ-- my sin no longer defines me. Furthermore, I love to watch the procession of people as they head towards the bread and wine-- the equality of the young and old, rich and poor before the cross. But most of all, I appreciate that it's not a weekly funeral for Jesus, but a reminder of what love is and who our God is. Love has nothing to do with Hallmark's sentimentality, and our God is far more wild and beautiful and humble than a heavenly Santa Claus.
The preaching causes me to think and to reorient and to pray. Randy's sermons keep on going well into the week; I have to process them. Here is quite possibly my favorite:Hospitality Toward God. It's the ninth one in the Abraham series and was given December 19th; sorry, I couldn't get the link more precise. It's brilliant and multi-faceted. It's simple yet dramatic in how it builds momentum. And it helps that my book club had just discussed a book on hospitality, and I have to say Randy's sermon had far more impact on me. If you don't have time to listen to the whole thing-- skip to the last part.
Monday, February 22, 2010
weather report
It's a gloomy, wet, gray day-- perfect napping weather. I did yawn several times in my classes. And, I had TWO unexpected parent conferences-- we're talking about two hours of yakking about kids. One of them might prove worthwhile.
I had a beautiful, enjoyable, semi-productive weekend. I went for a run yesterday which was nice, but could tell that my caloric intake is down. And church was good although I find it irritating-- it's probably a reason I need to go. My church just makes me angry on several different levels. I have to pray myself through the services: exploration (what and why am I feeling this emotion) and confession (so often it's self-centeredness and pride and other types of my favorite sins).
The food aspect is going remarkably well. My appetite is definitely suppressed-- I'm eating when I'm not hungry to insure that my caloric intake is high enough. The Chief surmised that it's eliminating high corn fructose or whatever from my diet, which never lets you feel satiated. I feel better overall. But, the spiritual is still difficult. I'm praying more and reading my Bible. But, the journaling just isn't happening.
I found more schools to apply to. I'm going to do that and swim tonight.
I had a beautiful, enjoyable, semi-productive weekend. I went for a run yesterday which was nice, but could tell that my caloric intake is down. And church was good although I find it irritating-- it's probably a reason I need to go. My church just makes me angry on several different levels. I have to pray myself through the services: exploration (what and why am I feeling this emotion) and confession (so often it's self-centeredness and pride and other types of my favorite sins).
The food aspect is going remarkably well. My appetite is definitely suppressed-- I'm eating when I'm not hungry to insure that my caloric intake is high enough. The Chief surmised that it's eliminating high corn fructose or whatever from my diet, which never lets you feel satiated. I feel better overall. But, the spiritual is still difficult. I'm praying more and reading my Bible. But, the journaling just isn't happening.
I found more schools to apply to. I'm going to do that and swim tonight.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
wrong side
I've had a lovely day and managed an awful mood for most of it! It's a talent of mine. Church was good. I took away the need for prayerful reflection of who I really am before God. The priest emphasized that change (ie. improvement) can come only with help from God. It was no Oprah episode.
I bought a cashmere wrap that I'd been thinking about for a long time. But, now that I've bought it, I'm thinking it's not worth the money on my salary. If it represented a smaller proportion of my salary, I'd say yes. But, as it is, I need to prioritize. I already have sweaters, sweatshirts, scarves. As lovely as the wrap is, I can't justify it. It's good to know. And, I'll return it next time I'm in SouthPark. I guess I got a hankering for an elegant shawl while at the Symphony the past couple of times. Ladies look so lovely and gently polished in a shawl. Upon reflection, it'll take more than a shawl for me to attain that level of elegance.
I attended a concert this afternoon. I stayed until the intermission and heard some of Handel's Arias and a section of Bach's Brandenburg Concerto. It was amazing! The musicians played the harpsicord, viola de gambo and all these older (almost obsolete) instruments. Pro Musica joined the Charlotte Civic Orchestra. It was enjoyable.
I cam home and took a nap and awoke to two inches of snow, and it's still snowing hours later. The County has already cancelled school.
I bought a cashmere wrap that I'd been thinking about for a long time. But, now that I've bought it, I'm thinking it's not worth the money on my salary. If it represented a smaller proportion of my salary, I'd say yes. But, as it is, I need to prioritize. I already have sweaters, sweatshirts, scarves. As lovely as the wrap is, I can't justify it. It's good to know. And, I'll return it next time I'm in SouthPark. I guess I got a hankering for an elegant shawl while at the Symphony the past couple of times. Ladies look so lovely and gently polished in a shawl. Upon reflection, it'll take more than a shawl for me to attain that level of elegance.
I attended a concert this afternoon. I stayed until the intermission and heard some of Handel's Arias and a section of Bach's Brandenburg Concerto. It was amazing! The musicians played the harpsicord, viola de gambo and all these older (almost obsolete) instruments. Pro Musica joined the Charlotte Civic Orchestra. It was enjoyable.
I cam home and took a nap and awoke to two inches of snow, and it's still snowing hours later. The County has already cancelled school.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Whimsy on the 5th Sunday of Ordinary Time
I got up an hour after my alarm clock sounded and still managed to get to church ten minutes early. I chose a seat under St. Patrick's watchful eye. The sermon was on Job and Matthew; it stabbed my heart, matching what I read last night about work in Life Together.
I enjoy the sacred calendar's humor with the long haul of ordinary time. It meets me where I am emotionally: blah land. Oh, how I long for special time, but we're sanctified through the ordinary. Here are verses 2 and 3 from "O Christ, the Healer":
"From every ailment flesh endures
Our bodies clamor to be freed;
Yet in our hearts we would confess
That wholeness is our deepest need.
"How strong, O Lord, are our desires,
How weak our knowledge of ourselves
Release in us those healing truths
Unconscious pride resists or shelves."
This song was a reminder of Truth in the midst of the self-absorption that we term "post modernity" to relinquish our responsibility for our thought patterns. I love how we justify evil thought patterns, lifestyles and habits through one abstract phrase. I loved when a theologian referred to post modernity as a mood (I'd say a bad mood); how right he was.
On my way home, I turned left instead of my normal right and ended up at Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens. It was a fabulous sidetrack. I went ahead and joined the Garden; it's tax deductable and would provide a good Saturday and Sunday afternoon activity. Plus, if I bring friends, they get half off admission (let me know if you'd like to go with me). They're spotlighting orchids, which I love, and were having a bridal showcase, which meant a lot of free food-- good free food. Well, technically speaking it wasn't free, but close enough. I had no idea about the bridal showcase, but it was was festive to have all the musicians and caterers etc. At first, I was trying to be noble and not sample any of the food, but the vendors assumed I was a bride (and it's hard to control other people's assumptions).
So, I sampled and had a lot of fun witnessing the infamous bridezillas in action. My theory that weddings/marriage is an industry that provides a lot of income for these vendors and divorce lawyers was substantiated by all the hoopla. You'd never guess that a wedding was about a marriage from all the crap. That said, it was lovely and delicious crap. The guy who made me shrimp and grits was from Rochester, New York.
This was my favorite orchid. Notice how it has some water in its cup. How gorgeous and fabulous is that?Then I ended up taking Virg to Charlotte and out for chilidogs, fries and a fountain coke tonight. I still have so much work to do, but the papers will get graded. Whereas, Virg is 86 and won't always be up for a ride on a lovely spring afternoon. There's a time when the theology one reads should metabolize into action, eh? Today's flowers and people were a reminder of how extraordinary our ordinary is. We're surrounded by the goodness of God.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
swath of hodge podge
Church:
My spiritual director directed me to Church on Sundays. He told me he didn't care where, but I needed to worship somewhere on the Sabbath. He's not bossy, and this is the first time he's told me something to do. So, I worshipped at the Benedictine Church today. I arrived late, so I got to sit in the front row. The sermon was on worry, and how our lives are centered on things they shouldn't be. We like a kind, good God that's far away-- not too close. We don't want a God who interferes with our plans. I wouldn't know anything about that-- the Hebrews wanting a mediator/prophet because they were afraid they'd die in front of the living God. And, come to find out, we do die when come into relationship with Yahweh. They're on to something.
Hike:
It's a gorgeous day! I decided to celebrate it with a hike: me, the glorious weather, and Crowder's Mountain. It was a festive outing. My fellow hikers were cheery and chirpy. There were lots of puppy dogs exploring with their masters. One dog was carrying a pack. I told his owner, "I like to see a dog earning his keep." The owner just laughed, and the dog kept trotting. Lots of kiddoes asking, "Are we there yet?" and receiving motivational speeches from their caretakers. The hike made me realize that I need to kick my training up a couple of notches: my legs were wobbly after the measly two-hour hike. I need to throw some weight-training into the mix, longer runs and trail runs. I need to up my time in the pool too. The hike also made me excited for the half marathon (Edge to Edge) I'm going to run in June on Vancouver Island with M. It's going to be amazing. And, I need to get my booty in shape so I can thoroughly enjoy myself.
Planning:
After meeting with the Curriculum Specialist last week, I'm very excited and motivated. She helped me find these creative lesson plans to teach the African curriculum sans the boring, schmoring book. Yay! for me and my students. The book is drier than the Sahara we've already studied! Tomorrow I'm teaching on cell phones in the Democratic Republic of the Congo as a way to discuss economy and sociology of the region. I'm finding pictures on Google Images and gearing up. And, in English I'm teaching on Descriptive Writing with Columbia Spaceship crash. It should be a fun day. I just wish I had better crowd control-- I was not prepared for this large of classes and the immaturity and lack of motivation of my students. She's coming again this week, and we're going to plan my South Africa unit. These lessons are the kind of lessons I envisioned teaching, but with about half the students and all of them on grade level.
Super Bowl:
Go Cardinals!
Miscellaneous:
As you can tell, dear reader, I'm feeling rejuvenated. I was listening to some codger wax on about the Christian life and realized he had it all wrong. Holiness isn't about being good; holiness is about being completely and truly alive. Now, that's exciting! It's a surrender to Aslan not a consent to a dull, dreary life. Obedience to Aslan is adventure. Learning to love is going to be a lifelong pursuit for me.
My spiritual director directed me to Church on Sundays. He told me he didn't care where, but I needed to worship somewhere on the Sabbath. He's not bossy, and this is the first time he's told me something to do. So, I worshipped at the Benedictine Church today. I arrived late, so I got to sit in the front row. The sermon was on worry, and how our lives are centered on things they shouldn't be. We like a kind, good God that's far away-- not too close. We don't want a God who interferes with our plans. I wouldn't know anything about that-- the Hebrews wanting a mediator/prophet because they were afraid they'd die in front of the living God. And, come to find out, we do die when come into relationship with Yahweh. They're on to something.
Hike:
It's a gorgeous day! I decided to celebrate it with a hike: me, the glorious weather, and Crowder's Mountain. It was a festive outing. My fellow hikers were cheery and chirpy. There were lots of puppy dogs exploring with their masters. One dog was carrying a pack. I told his owner, "I like to see a dog earning his keep." The owner just laughed, and the dog kept trotting. Lots of kiddoes asking, "Are we there yet?" and receiving motivational speeches from their caretakers. The hike made me realize that I need to kick my training up a couple of notches: my legs were wobbly after the measly two-hour hike. I need to throw some weight-training into the mix, longer runs and trail runs. I need to up my time in the pool too. The hike also made me excited for the half marathon (Edge to Edge) I'm going to run in June on Vancouver Island with M. It's going to be amazing. And, I need to get my booty in shape so I can thoroughly enjoy myself.
Planning:
After meeting with the Curriculum Specialist last week, I'm very excited and motivated. She helped me find these creative lesson plans to teach the African curriculum sans the boring, schmoring book. Yay! for me and my students. The book is drier than the Sahara we've already studied! Tomorrow I'm teaching on cell phones in the Democratic Republic of the Congo as a way to discuss economy and sociology of the region. I'm finding pictures on Google Images and gearing up. And, in English I'm teaching on Descriptive Writing with Columbia Spaceship crash. It should be a fun day. I just wish I had better crowd control-- I was not prepared for this large of classes and the immaturity and lack of motivation of my students. She's coming again this week, and we're going to plan my South Africa unit. These lessons are the kind of lessons I envisioned teaching, but with about half the students and all of them on grade level.
Super Bowl:
Go Cardinals!
Miscellaneous:
As you can tell, dear reader, I'm feeling rejuvenated. I was listening to some codger wax on about the Christian life and realized he had it all wrong. Holiness isn't about being good; holiness is about being completely and truly alive. Now, that's exciting! It's a surrender to Aslan not a consent to a dull, dreary life. Obedience to Aslan is adventure. Learning to love is going to be a lifelong pursuit for me.
Monday, January 12, 2009
prayer to stop FOCA
I hold a complex stance on abortion rights. Woman's Choice and ProLife are not polar-- I feel that they are at a ninety degree angle arguing separate issues that rest in one very concrete fact. I think abortion is a sin of our nation (and the people who profit from them) more so than the individuals who have them. I think the victims are the women, the girls and the babies... and the men who abdicate their role in generating life. But, anyway, the Bill, Freedom of Choice Act, is beyond the pale. It releases all restrictions. Here is an email I received from a Benedictine monk (please consider praying and fasting):
"If you are opposed to abortion then there is bad news on the horizon. For those of you who do not know, the Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA) is set to be signed if congress passes it on January 21-22 of 2009. The FOCA is the next sick chapter in the book of abortion. If made a law then all limitations on abortion will be lifted which will result in the following:
1) All hospitals, including Catholic hospitals, will be required to perform abortions upon request. If this happens Bishops vow to close down all Catholic hospitals, more then 30% of all hospitals in the United States.
2) Partial birth abortions would be legal and have no limitations.
3) All U.S. tax payers would be funding abortions.
4) Parental notification will no longer be required.
5) The number of abortions will increase by a minimum of 100,000 annually. This is an estimation.
Needless to say this information is disturbing, but sadlytrue. As Catholics, as Christians, as anyone who is against the needless killing of innocent children, we must stand as one. We must stop this horrific act before it becomes a law.
The Plan :
To say a novena (9 days of prayer) along with fasting starting on Sunday, January 11th. For Catholics, the prayer of choice will be the rosary with intentions to stop the FOCA. For all other Christians, we I encourage you to pray your strongest prayers with the same intentions, also for nine consecutive days. The hope is that this will branch and blossom as to become a global effort with maximum impact. We have very little time so we all must act fast. Just do three things:
1) Invite all your friends to this group. (at least those that you know are Christian)
2) Do it in three days or less
3) Start the novena on January 11th and pray for nine consecutive days.
(please also fast for at least two days during the novena)
Remember that with God all things are possible and thepower of prayer is undeniable. If you are against the senseless killing of defenseless children then the time is now to do something about it!
--
"Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the freedom to do what we ought." JP II
"God has created a world big enough for all the lives He wishes to be born. It is only our hearts that are not big enough to want them and accept them. If all the money that is being spent on finding ways to kill people was used instead to feed them and house them and educate them - how beautiful that would be. We are too often afraid of the sacrifices we might have to make. But where there is love, there is always sacrifice. And when we love until it hurts, there is joy and peace." Mother Theresa
"While it is obvious that an ignorant man can be virtuous, it is equally obvious that ignorance is not a virtue." -Frank Sheed"
"If you are opposed to abortion then there is bad news on the horizon. For those of you who do not know, the Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA) is set to be signed if congress passes it on January 21-22 of 2009. The FOCA is the next sick chapter in the book of abortion. If made a law then all limitations on abortion will be lifted which will result in the following:
1) All hospitals, including Catholic hospitals, will be required to perform abortions upon request. If this happens Bishops vow to close down all Catholic hospitals, more then 30% of all hospitals in the United States.
2) Partial birth abortions would be legal and have no limitations.
3) All U.S. tax payers would be funding abortions.
4) Parental notification will no longer be required.
5) The number of abortions will increase by a minimum of 100,000 annually. This is an estimation.
Needless to say this information is disturbing, but sadlytrue. As Catholics, as Christians, as anyone who is against the needless killing of innocent children, we must stand as one. We must stop this horrific act before it becomes a law.
The Plan :
To say a novena (9 days of prayer) along with fasting starting on Sunday, January 11th. For Catholics, the prayer of choice will be the rosary with intentions to stop the FOCA. For all other Christians, we I encourage you to pray your strongest prayers with the same intentions, also for nine consecutive days. The hope is that this will branch and blossom as to become a global effort with maximum impact. We have very little time so we all must act fast. Just do three things:
1) Invite all your friends to this group. (at least those that you know are Christian)
2) Do it in three days or less
3) Start the novena on January 11th and pray for nine consecutive days.
(please also fast for at least two days during the novena)
Remember that with God all things are possible and thepower of prayer is undeniable. If you are against the senseless killing of defenseless children then the time is now to do something about it!
--
"Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the freedom to do what we ought." JP II
"God has created a world big enough for all the lives He wishes to be born. It is only our hearts that are not big enough to want them and accept them. If all the money that is being spent on finding ways to kill people was used instead to feed them and house them and educate them - how beautiful that would be. We are too often afraid of the sacrifices we might have to make. But where there is love, there is always sacrifice. And when we love until it hurts, there is joy and peace." Mother Theresa
"While it is obvious that an ignorant man can be virtuous, it is equally obvious that ignorance is not a virtue." -Frank Sheed"
Sunday, January 11, 2009
non negotiables and more!
It was my second Sunday at a local Lutheran church. It took me a long time to realize that Lutheran was a high church option in these parts. That's a denomination that flies under my radar for some unexplicable reason. I really like the service. We're talking prayer of confession and intercession, the Lord's Prayer, the Nicene (!) Creed, weekly communion, liturgical reading, hymns, kneeling. I feel as if I've encountered the Living God not some wishy-washy, well-intentioned, inoffensive suggestions.
A woman I respect in Vancouver told me that she and her husband chose churches based on the best two out of three: the Sacraments, the Word, and the Holy Spirit. She said that she'd never experienced a church that fully incorporated all three. They'd gone to Baptist churches, pentecostal churches and were presently at an Anglican church. One day last year that conversation popped into my head and made me realize that the church I was attending had a zero out of three. They lacked a stance on Baptism and served communion once a month (that's a really low score on the two sacraments protestants observe).
The pastor used "Big Idea" preaching because expository preaching is passe; "Big Idea" preaching is a way to avoid Scripture getting in the way of the point you're trying to make. The preacher argued that expository preaching had been abused and was no longer effective. That's synonymous to saying the Bible is no longer relevant because all expository preaching does is unpack chapters and verses and apply them. The argument is fallacious because all things have been abused (justice, medicine, government, etc) that doesn't make them bad. (The church scores negatively in the Word.)
And, arguably, MTV and TMZ influence the church more than the Spirit. Their pet projects are Africa, homeless and inner city kids. Not that's anything wrong with these missions: it's just that they're sexy. There's no questions asked about the marginalization of the elderly. You serve poor people; you don't have them worship with you. There were few fat people at the church (a key socio-economic indicator)-- it was by no means welcoming. I was always most ashamed of my rickety car at church (this should not be!).
And, the pastors constantly communicate a disdain for Southerners and the South-- snarky comments about our manners, our intellects, our art. Jesus sent us some Yankees to set us straight, Halleujah! (In fact, the only time the head pastor spoke to me, was to make an asinine comment about a UNC t-shirt I was wearing. How is that of the Spirit? And, there's no call for sacrifice only for giving. They offered service projects (nothing long term-- no life style change). We all know God really digs his children's comfort.
I always sensed that they were ashamed of the gospel. And, the reference of nonbelievers as "normal people" is borderline heretical in my book. Sin and brokeness are not normal; it is the role of the church to preach The Story of our true identity as immortal children of God. God is good and powerful not an add on based on a person's desire. There was no sense of Reality vs. seen. To normalize brokeness and sin is ridiculous and self-defeating. They never said the Lord's Prayer or the Apostles' Creed. I've never been to another church that snubbed those hallmarks of orthodox faith. (Zero for the spirit.)
Yet, there were amazing believers in the congregation. People who walked with God amidst the inane idolatry of hipness. And, I discovered some of my non negotiables: Lord's Prayer, a Creed (Apostles' or Nicene), at least one prayer, old people and fat people. Augustine called the church a hospital not a plastic surgery clinic. A friend told me to treat it as a mission field, but I need to be fed-- I'm one of Jesus' sheep too. I'm looking for a two out of the three.
"Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the freedom to do what we ought." JP II
A woman I respect in Vancouver told me that she and her husband chose churches based on the best two out of three: the Sacraments, the Word, and the Holy Spirit. She said that she'd never experienced a church that fully incorporated all three. They'd gone to Baptist churches, pentecostal churches and were presently at an Anglican church. One day last year that conversation popped into my head and made me realize that the church I was attending had a zero out of three. They lacked a stance on Baptism and served communion once a month (that's a really low score on the two sacraments protestants observe).
The pastor used "Big Idea" preaching because expository preaching is passe; "Big Idea" preaching is a way to avoid Scripture getting in the way of the point you're trying to make. The preacher argued that expository preaching had been abused and was no longer effective. That's synonymous to saying the Bible is no longer relevant because all expository preaching does is unpack chapters and verses and apply them. The argument is fallacious because all things have been abused (justice, medicine, government, etc) that doesn't make them bad. (The church scores negatively in the Word.)
And, arguably, MTV and TMZ influence the church more than the Spirit. Their pet projects are Africa, homeless and inner city kids. Not that's anything wrong with these missions: it's just that they're sexy. There's no questions asked about the marginalization of the elderly. You serve poor people; you don't have them worship with you. There were few fat people at the church (a key socio-economic indicator)-- it was by no means welcoming. I was always most ashamed of my rickety car at church (this should not be!).
And, the pastors constantly communicate a disdain for Southerners and the South-- snarky comments about our manners, our intellects, our art. Jesus sent us some Yankees to set us straight, Halleujah! (In fact, the only time the head pastor spoke to me, was to make an asinine comment about a UNC t-shirt I was wearing. How is that of the Spirit? And, there's no call for sacrifice only for giving. They offered service projects (nothing long term-- no life style change). We all know God really digs his children's comfort.
I always sensed that they were ashamed of the gospel. And, the reference of nonbelievers as "normal people" is borderline heretical in my book. Sin and brokeness are not normal; it is the role of the church to preach The Story of our true identity as immortal children of God. God is good and powerful not an add on based on a person's desire. There was no sense of Reality vs. seen. To normalize brokeness and sin is ridiculous and self-defeating. They never said the Lord's Prayer or the Apostles' Creed. I've never been to another church that snubbed those hallmarks of orthodox faith. (Zero for the spirit.)
Yet, there were amazing believers in the congregation. People who walked with God amidst the inane idolatry of hipness. And, I discovered some of my non negotiables: Lord's Prayer, a Creed (Apostles' or Nicene), at least one prayer, old people and fat people. Augustine called the church a hospital not a plastic surgery clinic. A friend told me to treat it as a mission field, but I need to be fed-- I'm one of Jesus' sheep too. I'm looking for a two out of the three.
"Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the freedom to do what we ought." JP II
Monday, December 29, 2008
tooth 19
Tooth 19 had a cavity; I got it filled at 2pm. My dentist kept talking about a hypothetical situation of a guy wearing my "festive shoes". The dental hygienist and I disturbed him by saying that without a doubt, somewhere in this world, there's a guy who wears silver metallic shoes with "jewels". When he was finished, he told me, "Don't bite your tongue." Thanks, man.
I was late because I lost track of time because I was enjoying my brunch with Marcia. It was so good to spend time with this lady. She's a role model of my high school's motto: function in disaster, finish in style, remain calm at the center of your being. She's so gracious and joyful and authentic; her faith is completely present and lived in. We chatted, chatted, chatted. She's an elixir. She buoyed my spirits. She patiently reminds me that there is more than one way to frame a situation. Perspective is key: God loves and wants what's best. Yay, friends. (And, I complain I have no kindred spirits in this neck of the woods.)
So, it's the New Year: time to evaluate, and take necessary actions. Under consideration: do I stay in my writing group? I'm leaning towards no (I can't see improvement in my writing-- if anything, it's deteriorating), but I enjoy the comraderie. I want to start a theological book club. I need to train for a race; do I get a personal trainer?
I need to find a job I like or find something redeemable in my job: it really looks as if I'm stuck in this death for another year (I just read Dylan Thomas wrote, "A job is death without dignity", which struck a cord: exactly). Things could be worse, I could be an amputee with this job.
Last week a friend asked me: How did your first semester go? I wrote: (It was) excruciating. She responded: I hope you mean painful, but a blessing to others. Her comment set my thoughts reeling.
I am learning a lot: I'm a dreadful communicator-- I just expect people to know my expectations. I'm also learning a lot about myself and people in general in dealing with my students. For instance, I use a more complex form of their "My pencil got lost" logic. But to answer her question, I do think I'm impacting some of my students. And, one of the custodians calls me the little sister he's always wanted. And, my observations are 90-95% positive. It's just that I feel lied to and taken advantage of (The whole writing assessment extra 130 hours of uncompensated work, the being told I'd get paid on my master's and that I'd have 21 students in a class, etc). I told D and M, "I use none of my strengths; it's to the point I question if I have any strengths."
And, do I start a dating campaign: a romance blitz. I'm not a Disney princess with a Prince Charming waiting in the wings. I really need to find a church. Maybe Lutheran; I've been so concentrated on Anglican that this high-church option slipped my mind.
I was late because I lost track of time because I was enjoying my brunch with Marcia. It was so good to spend time with this lady. She's a role model of my high school's motto: function in disaster, finish in style, remain calm at the center of your being. She's so gracious and joyful and authentic; her faith is completely present and lived in. We chatted, chatted, chatted. She's an elixir. She buoyed my spirits. She patiently reminds me that there is more than one way to frame a situation. Perspective is key: God loves and wants what's best. Yay, friends. (And, I complain I have no kindred spirits in this neck of the woods.)
So, it's the New Year: time to evaluate, and take necessary actions. Under consideration: do I stay in my writing group? I'm leaning towards no (I can't see improvement in my writing-- if anything, it's deteriorating), but I enjoy the comraderie. I want to start a theological book club. I need to train for a race; do I get a personal trainer?
I need to find a job I like or find something redeemable in my job: it really looks as if I'm stuck in this death for another year (I just read Dylan Thomas wrote, "A job is death without dignity", which struck a cord: exactly). Things could be worse, I could be an amputee with this job.
Last week a friend asked me: How did your first semester go? I wrote: (It was) excruciating. She responded: I hope you mean painful, but a blessing to others. Her comment set my thoughts reeling.
I am learning a lot: I'm a dreadful communicator-- I just expect people to know my expectations. I'm also learning a lot about myself and people in general in dealing with my students. For instance, I use a more complex form of their "My pencil got lost" logic. But to answer her question, I do think I'm impacting some of my students. And, one of the custodians calls me the little sister he's always wanted. And, my observations are 90-95% positive. It's just that I feel lied to and taken advantage of (The whole writing assessment extra 130 hours of uncompensated work, the being told I'd get paid on my master's and that I'd have 21 students in a class, etc). I told D and M, "I use none of my strengths; it's to the point I question if I have any strengths."
And, do I start a dating campaign: a romance blitz. I'm not a Disney princess with a Prince Charming waiting in the wings. I really need to find a church. Maybe Lutheran; I've been so concentrated on Anglican that this high-church option slipped my mind.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
benedictine brunch with a twist
I worshipped at the Abbey again today. We sang a Charles Wesley hymn; both sides of the aisle would be shocked at the similarities in worship: the Lord's Prayer, Prayer of Confession, the Nicene Creed, Prayer of the People, the hymns. We dicker in periphery not core issues.
I love my spiritual director; perhaps, I'm too comfortable with him. I admit to things that I shouldn't think let alone say. But, this makes talking with him helpful. Somehow the uncensored nature about my thought process allows me to talk about my spiritual life in a way that fills natural. It's easy to discuss with him my prayer life or lack there of. Am I doing devotions? I've answered all these questions bluntly.
We chatted about the sermon and service. He also told me that Sunday lunch was actually breakfast food. He explained to me the concept of brunch as if I would have difficulty grasping it; I am blonde. I felt my internal anthropologist turn on. It was fascinating to watch what the monks ate and their decision process. I teased one monk about his intricate "pancake ceremony". He chuckled and told me that it was important how one applied the condiments. It felt similar to visiting somebody at their house. As we ate, we chatted about his family, whom I feel as if I know. I told him about yesterday but left out the bucketloads of angst it filled me with.
I left the angst out because we were sitting at a table with the Abbott and his guest. I think my monk and the abbott had plotted to set the other guest and me up. Monks are such little old ladies sometimes. The guy was very polite and solemn. Apparently, he didn't approve of laughing on Rejoice Sunday. I'll talk to my Brother the next session about this shennanigan of his.
I gave him his Christmas present, which I think he'll enjoy thoroughly. We shall see.
I love my spiritual director; perhaps, I'm too comfortable with him. I admit to things that I shouldn't think let alone say. But, this makes talking with him helpful. Somehow the uncensored nature about my thought process allows me to talk about my spiritual life in a way that fills natural. It's easy to discuss with him my prayer life or lack there of. Am I doing devotions? I've answered all these questions bluntly.
We chatted about the sermon and service. He also told me that Sunday lunch was actually breakfast food. He explained to me the concept of brunch as if I would have difficulty grasping it; I am blonde. I felt my internal anthropologist turn on. It was fascinating to watch what the monks ate and their decision process. I teased one monk about his intricate "pancake ceremony". He chuckled and told me that it was important how one applied the condiments. It felt similar to visiting somebody at their house. As we ate, we chatted about his family, whom I feel as if I know. I told him about yesterday but left out the bucketloads of angst it filled me with.
I left the angst out because we were sitting at a table with the Abbott and his guest. I think my monk and the abbott had plotted to set the other guest and me up. Monks are such little old ladies sometimes. The guy was very polite and solemn. Apparently, he didn't approve of laughing on Rejoice Sunday. I'll talk to my Brother the next session about this shennanigan of his.
I gave him his Christmas present, which I think he'll enjoy thoroughly. We shall see.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
who wants a single cohesive narrative when you could have this?
I'm a hypocrite: I teach writing in an orderly fashion. But, a single cohesive narrative is simply not in the cards tonight, friends, even though that's what I teach most days. It isn't in the cards. What cards?
On an early evening whim, I headed to the Wednesday night service at the church in which I grew up. A large part of my motivation was food; those women can cook. I ended up going to the tough questions class that dealt with "How do you deal with the atrocities done in the name of Christianity" and "What does the Bible say about homosexuality?" The class lived up to its name. I'm not sure I can give an anecdote this close to having gone. I was getting really frustrated with this enthusiastic, misinformed chap perched in the seat directly in front of me. His inane and spiteful comments irked me until suddenly they seemed hilarious and I'd get the giggles every time he said something ridiculous. He even said that "the crusades were necessary". You scare me. "Homosexuality is an abomination." Um, last time I checked, all sin is fundamentally odious to God. From the discussion, I did realize my point of departure from most of the people in the room is that I think there is nothing fundamentally sacred about the nuclear family. The nuclear family isn't a biblical concept the best I can tell.
The evening reminded me: a) I'm in odd place, having gone to seminary (I've read a lot about, gone to lectures on and written papers on stuff most people think about in passing), b) I'm odd, c) this isn't the church for me, and d) Church is hard... in a good way.
I keep hoping that I'll happen upon the equivalent to St. Johns here, but it isn't going to happen. Or, even Chapel Hill Bible the era I attended. The lack of a church to call home makes me think that I'm not going to end up here, but, then again, maybe I just need to pick one and muscle through the angst and longing for kinship.
Speaking of odd, I'm excited about sewing Saturday. I can't wait to wear my new skirt and dress!! And, today I was daydreaming about walking through McAdenville at night to see the Christmas lights. And, I want to go ice skating outside somewhere this holiday season! And, hear Handel's Messiah.
* note to self: perhaps this quantity push isn't for the best. Maybe I should have theme nights or wait patiently until I have a cool story.
On an early evening whim, I headed to the Wednesday night service at the church in which I grew up. A large part of my motivation was food; those women can cook. I ended up going to the tough questions class that dealt with "How do you deal with the atrocities done in the name of Christianity" and "What does the Bible say about homosexuality?" The class lived up to its name. I'm not sure I can give an anecdote this close to having gone. I was getting really frustrated with this enthusiastic, misinformed chap perched in the seat directly in front of me. His inane and spiteful comments irked me until suddenly they seemed hilarious and I'd get the giggles every time he said something ridiculous. He even said that "the crusades were necessary". You scare me. "Homosexuality is an abomination." Um, last time I checked, all sin is fundamentally odious to God. From the discussion, I did realize my point of departure from most of the people in the room is that I think there is nothing fundamentally sacred about the nuclear family. The nuclear family isn't a biblical concept the best I can tell.
The evening reminded me: a) I'm in odd place, having gone to seminary (I've read a lot about, gone to lectures on and written papers on stuff most people think about in passing), b) I'm odd, c) this isn't the church for me, and d) Church is hard... in a good way.
I keep hoping that I'll happen upon the equivalent to St. Johns here, but it isn't going to happen. Or, even Chapel Hill Bible the era I attended. The lack of a church to call home makes me think that I'm not going to end up here, but, then again, maybe I just need to pick one and muscle through the angst and longing for kinship.
Speaking of odd, I'm excited about sewing Saturday. I can't wait to wear my new skirt and dress!! And, today I was daydreaming about walking through McAdenville at night to see the Christmas lights. And, I want to go ice skating outside somewhere this holiday season! And, hear Handel's Messiah.
* note to self: perhaps this quantity push isn't for the best. Maybe I should have theme nights or wait patiently until I have a cool story.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
again
I had another fabulous Sunday long funrun. I went a longer distance and a shorter time. Am I stud or was the temperature lower? And, I'm not as tired, but my right knee went a little wonky minutes 20-35 then straightened out by the end of the run. I should ice.
I attended a service of a church plant that a sincere chap started. I find him endearing. However, I did not find a new church home. But, as I waded through the service and read through the bulletin, I discovered that I wanting a church with a strong teaching component. The church's mother church (or whatever it's called) is having a spiritual formation mini-retreat and September Wednesday night classes. And not on flakey abstraction, which proves you're hip. The classes I'm interested in are one on the history and uses of creeds and catechisms in a healthy faith. And, one of my favorite Christian thinkers and doers is teaching a class on Romans. As you can tell, these opportunities perked me up and alerted me to something I've been missing. I love learning meaty stuff. I hope it's meaty.
I spent 6.5 hours in my classroom yesterday. With all my mom's backing and my sister's work and planning, the room is starting to look like a classroom. I'm going to really like it and maybe the students will too. I have a lot of plants. And, my sister found cool non-teachery objects to hang on the wall. For instance, she got this huge poster of elephants and a mask to symbolize sub-saharan Africa, and a poster of a painting of a pagoda and oriental fans for Asia. My sister's decoration is such an excellent entrance for imagination and connection. But, my mom urged me not to make it busy; she said kids don't need access to information (they have tons of information); they need ways to process, interpret, analyze and synthesize data.
And, the shape of my classes' schedules is beginning to form. The pacing guide for Social Studies is actually useful; the one for Language Arts is noteably less so. The LA dissects the part of a story as if you can teach plot separate from character, etc; I find that problematic on so many levels. Of course, I'm a veteran teacher with valuable and valued opinions.
I'm also figuring my out of teaching schedule; I'm guessing I'll work at least 55 hours a week this year. Training for my marathon will be a priority. So will spiritual direction. Questions: small group and writing group. Do I cull these because neither benefits me? I enjoy both, but I can't detect any growth because of them. Inertia is not good logic. Along the same lines, I so wish I had a church I felt at home in. Do I make do with the familiar and the okay while I transition into a time, energy and emotion-sucking job?
I need to invest in a magic-eight ball.
Mandy, you should move to Charlotte. Please. I need kindred spirits who run. Jerry? Tim? Jenny? Andrea? Greg? Pretty please.
I attended a service of a church plant that a sincere chap started. I find him endearing. However, I did not find a new church home. But, as I waded through the service and read through the bulletin, I discovered that I wanting a church with a strong teaching component. The church's mother church (or whatever it's called) is having a spiritual formation mini-retreat and September Wednesday night classes. And not on flakey abstraction, which proves you're hip. The classes I'm interested in are one on the history and uses of creeds and catechisms in a healthy faith. And, one of my favorite Christian thinkers and doers is teaching a class on Romans. As you can tell, these opportunities perked me up and alerted me to something I've been missing. I love learning meaty stuff. I hope it's meaty.
I spent 6.5 hours in my classroom yesterday. With all my mom's backing and my sister's work and planning, the room is starting to look like a classroom. I'm going to really like it and maybe the students will too. I have a lot of plants. And, my sister found cool non-teachery objects to hang on the wall. For instance, she got this huge poster of elephants and a mask to symbolize sub-saharan Africa, and a poster of a painting of a pagoda and oriental fans for Asia. My sister's decoration is such an excellent entrance for imagination and connection. But, my mom urged me not to make it busy; she said kids don't need access to information (they have tons of information); they need ways to process, interpret, analyze and synthesize data.
And, the shape of my classes' schedules is beginning to form. The pacing guide for Social Studies is actually useful; the one for Language Arts is noteably less so. The LA dissects the part of a story as if you can teach plot separate from character, etc; I find that problematic on so many levels. Of course, I'm a veteran teacher with valuable and valued opinions.
I'm also figuring my out of teaching schedule; I'm guessing I'll work at least 55 hours a week this year. Training for my marathon will be a priority. So will spiritual direction. Questions: small group and writing group. Do I cull these because neither benefits me? I enjoy both, but I can't detect any growth because of them. Inertia is not good logic. Along the same lines, I so wish I had a church I felt at home in. Do I make do with the familiar and the okay while I transition into a time, energy and emotion-sucking job?
I need to invest in a magic-eight ball.
Mandy, you should move to Charlotte. Please. I need kindred spirits who run. Jerry? Tim? Jenny? Andrea? Greg? Pretty please.
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