Oh yeah, back in the saddle

The interview for a part-time teaching gig went swimmingly.  They were pleased that I have all of my teeth, rudimentary understanding of professional attire, ability to speak in complete sentences, and have reasonable mastery over subject-verb agreement.  They were so impressed with my educational background in Classics and History that they asked me if I could teach math.  I responded, "Sure."  But, I added the caveat of up to Algebra-- nothing fancy.  And, they were interested in my teaching ESL.  I feel like I sufficiently described my teaching experiences.  I didn't embellish.  How does one embellish teaching 7th grade at a Title One school?  When it comes down to it: my resume is odd... and getting odder.  But, it fits me.

Seriously, it went brilliantly, and I need to write thank-you notes.

I was the only one reeling from the irony of my 15-minute lesson on Time Management.  When I ran my lesson by the Chief last night, she said that there were perhaps some aspects of the lesson from which I could benefit. Touche, Chief, touche.

****

I've also been working on my lesson and scheduling for the Wednesday night class at my church.  I've been compiling my first hand-out.  So much fun-- it's about common-placing.  So, I'm leading by example.  Here's the blurb I wrote for the bulletin:

Journaling is an active process of connecting versus compartmentalizing: it integrates our thoughts, feelings, actions, prayers, memories, hope, faith, Scripture, news, TV, art.  We're Calvinists; we don't believe things happen by accident.  Journaling is a way to be honest and discover. However, the ability to connect takes effort and practice.  In this class, we'll follow Luci Shaw's Life Path: Personal and Spiritual Growth through Journal Writing.  The class will consist of brief introductions of topics, discussion and practice.

****

I'm getting excited about getting to teach a little.

Comment dis tu "yeehaw" in Francais? Week 4, Day 1

Today was my first day actually doing my job.  'Twas a bit nerve wracking.  I naively thought today would be one more day to study and shore up my inadequacies. I was wrong. I'm glad that I had no idea today was the day because it would have ruined my weekend.

When my boss told me to sign onto the phone, I told him, "But, I have no idea what I'm doing."

He told me to come to his office.  So, we met in his office.  He asked, "What did you mean 'you don't know what you're doing'?"

I told him again with as much earnestness as I could muster, "I really have no idea what I'm doing."

"Be more specific," he told me.

"I don't know how to navigate the various systems. I don't even know what systems to pull up.  I'm going to fluster easily," I tried to explain.

My boss said, "Well, explain to your mentor what you need help on."  And, off I went.

I was so overwhelmed that I wasn't even scared.  When I was setting up in my mentor's cubicle, we chatted.  I confessed to him I was retarded when it came to this, and I was clueless.

He responded, "Of course you are. Everybody is when they start."

He spoke the precise words that I needed to hear.

So, he and another mentor joked with me as they helped me pull up the different programs I needed and do all my log-ons.   Then we did my first call, and it wasn't that bad.  The first couple of phone calls he did the majority of the computer work while I spoke with the member.  It was a really smart way to acclimate me.  I felt far more comfortable-- I now had a bungee cord as I plunged off the cliff.

By the end of the day, I actually took one call on my own.  It was successful.  The different programs started to make sense.  I sensed a flow, a logical rhythm in it.  The guys showed me short cuts and different (easier) ways to perform the same processes.

I had a really good time with the guys who mentored me.  They're my little brother's age.  So, I treated them as such.

Nobody was overtly rude to me.  Two people hung up on me when I told them I was unable to do what they wanted me to do... because it was illegal.  (I didn't say the illegal part.) My mentor told me that it's far better to be hung up on then to be yelled at.   I think I agree.  The members were really patient with me.

I was supposed to work out after work.  I met a friend for Mexican instead.

pet monkey learns new tricks: week 3 of new job

This week I've started to become frustrated with myself and training.  It all feels so cumbersome and takes me forever and ever.  I forget whether to key lnsc, lnai, or lnhi before I can key lnlc.  It reminds of Greek 1 but with a live audience.

There are all these DOS commands and banking lingo to digest and use.  I've felt like stating more than once, "I'm not retarded, I'm confused."  The trainer that came from headquarters is ridiculous and contributes .  Right before he gave us a break, he said, "It'll be a quick ten-minute break. You can use the bathroom, stretch your legs, get some water."  I thanked him for the pointers.  And I couldn't help myself when he said, "A person's geological location doesn't matter."  I asked, "Do you mean geographical?"

But, my real beef with trainer guy can be summed up with this exchange.  I'd just finished a "fake call" with a "woman" who had nonsufficient funds (that's what they call it-- not "insufficient") in her account.  I concluded the phone call with "Have a great day."  Just after I said it, I realized I'd probably be pissed if someone said that to me.  So I asked, "Am I being a smart ass to say 'Have a great day' when it's pretty obvious the woman isn't?"  He said, "It was professional and that I had no right to judge the members."  I realized we definitely have a communication disconnect.

And, I feel a little bullied by two of the girls.  However, that's one of the nice things about being 10 years older.  I feel mostly amused and slightly irritated about their rudeness.  But, I do have my kindred spirit.  He eats the free lunches too.  And, I knew we'd get along when he nodded off during the post lunch training.  Plus, he's having car trouble.  And, he doesn't intuit the 8 new programs we have to navigate.  He even gets aggravated.

At one break in which I hadn't received instructions on how to properly use it, I was watching some of the tax class guys mill about outside our room.  They were wearing maroon, royal blue, and charcoal gray shirts with dorky ties.  I told my ks, "I know you're too shy to ask me opinion on men's fashion, so, I'll tell you.  I hate dark shirts.  They remind me of Miami Vice and the mafia.  Not that I'd think less of you if you wore one."

He responded, "What do you have against the mafia?"

I told him, "I prefer my crime disorganized."

all's well

A good report all around.

Work is going well. I feel like I'm catching on, building some cognitive and relational momentum. Heck, I'm even enjoying dressing up.  I'm trying to decide what purchases to make because this is a far fancier job than teaching.  I've come to a reasonable compromise with the traffic: I leave at 7am and arrive to work at 7:30 and do my devotion in my car.  And, I beat the traffic home by stopping at the Y on the way home and doing my 5 or 7 miles and maybe a class.  So, it's a little longer, but flexibility makes it far more enjoyable.

I didn't run after work but went to church instead.  It was on "Hallowed by thy name."  It hit a nerve... in a good way.  It was a reminder of my constant need to get reoriented to Reality.  God's bigger and stronger than any of the problems whether a political election or unemployment.

The icing on the cake: really phenomenal conversations with dear friends.  One on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  I felt loved, grounded and encouraged by the words and the relationships.

gettin' her done

I left the house at 6:59 am and arrived just before 8pm ready for a shower and dinner. How things have changed.  I don't have as much time to ponder the meaning of life... and that's a good thing.  My hand is being forced in what my priorities are.  I feel there's been a fundamental shift somewhere deep inside of me.  I can't even verbalize it.  But, it's present in my attitude towards money, singleness, people, time, and God.  Humility coupled with a deep sense of responsibility, which sounds contradictory on the surface.

I was thinking about and praying about a second job, and I got a bite on a possible ESL gig nearby.  That would be cool.

I ran five miles on the elliptical and did Body Pump after work.  Traffic was terrible so I just got off at the Y 5 exit before mine and worked out in lieu of sitting in traffic. I really felt like giving up, but the two chocolate chip cookies I chowed down on for dessert... and everything else I ate provided enough motivation to muscle through the "I don't wanna".  Plus, I thought it would help me sleep tonight.  Seriously, I sit all day: driving to work, at work, during lunch, driving home from work.  I'm a sitter.

I'm liking my job.  I really enjoy some of the people, and there is a lot to learn.

Day 4: Testing out the service

I think I'm going to enjoy these people.

Exhibit 1:
We ate lunch in a gazebo.  Four of us were chatting and eating sandwiches, and we finally asked the guy from Argentina how he ended up here.  The reason: lady who is now his wife and mother of his children. She was from Ohio, and they met when he was a tour guide and she was a tourist.  He explained that she was "testing out the service."  I responded, "She must have liked it."

Exhibit 2:

While at lunch, I got a text from a friend that had just spoken with my supervisor and given a reference for me.  She texted, "I think you're going to keep your job."

Exhibit 3:

I hang out with the smokers because I like going outside for breaks too.  I was chatting with this one guy about Notre Dame joining the ACC.  While we got sidetracked, it came out he'd been really sick and had had a kidney transplant.

Day 3: haHA

When the guy exclaimed "You've got it!" at 2:30 this afternoon, his voice was the sound of relief.  The poor dude was legitimately concerned about my understanding the information.  Good thing I come through in the clutch.

I guess they had the right to be nervous: it took me over twenty minutes to log in the first time.  But, I'm unravelling the logic of the systems and financial concepts.  Let's face it: I'm not afraid to ask questions... or interrupt... or ask the instructor to repeat what he said... or hazard a guess.

Plus, I've found a volunteer position as a safari guide to the greenway.  I took two excursions out today.  My morning excursion was with two guys in the class.  Then, over lunch, I muscled through the gag reflex with speed so that I could explore.  I found a buddy to go with me.  We saw a blue heron land on a tree!  We saw a model posing for a photographer at a waterfall.  We saw braille poems.  And, I got a huge cup of Starbucks so that I'd look alert through the afternoon.

Carpe Diem!  Work hard, play hard, get to know people.  I've got to make this job my own; it's up to me.  I've got to figure out how to make it work.  And, I am.

Day 2: Security questions and a shoe

Today can be summed up with this scene: I'm in the changing room at the Y gearing up for my run, pulling my clothes from my bag:  Top, tights, socks, and a running shoe.  A single shoe.  

This is why I pack important stuff the night before and didn't run.  Exhaustion.

Today's training consisted of only two hours of powerpoint.  This training reminds me of my semester in theology school: the total onslaught of new vocabulary for concepts I've used but without the technical know-how.   My inanely basic questions no-doubt irk the finance majors in the class.  But, everything is brand new to me.  I have a savings account, checking account, IRA, credit card, etc.; however, I haven't thought about them from the industry's standpoint.  It's the difference between reading Genesis on your own as a spiritual story, and then taking a class on it to analyze its structure, historicity, and authorship.

Then after lunch, I received my employee number and now have a computer log-in.  I had to answer my security questions and come up with passwords. Then we actually worked in three of the computer systems that we'll be using on training modules (so not to wreak too much havoc).  I've watched other people use them.  I felt like a monkey mimicking her trainer.

Observing people work has been trickier than I expected.  The first girl I observed was the best.  She was polite, honest, helpful, and methodical.  The next guy seemed impatient and didn't really engage with the members.  He presumed he understood their questions.  He actually said, "She had no idea what she wanted."  He hung up on another member.  The second girl was equally disappointing.

As I think about the position while I observe coworkers and listen to the instructors, I realize that I will have to make this into my job.  I'm still on a job hunt, and I will always be. There will always be some dissonance between the ideal and the reality. I'll have have to decide consciously what my job is every day.  I was drawn to this business because their motto is  "Do the right thing," and I want to follow it.  But, it'll be a lot like my seventh graders following the rules and rising above peer pressure.  I have a choice of who I am in every situation, especially this one.

It is as my uncle responded via email to my last post: "But just for the record, I didn't say dream jobs DON'T exist, I said there's just NOT TOO many out there.  And I still hold onto the hope that we can grow into jobs or use them to springboard into better ones.  Keep the faith!"

training: w1 d1

I arrived 30 minutes early, so I walked to Starbucks.  It opened in 28 minutes.  So, I walked to the greenway tucked under the campus of my company that runs along a sleepy creek.  (I think I'm going to enjoy that feature of the job.)

When I came back, there was a girl waiting outside the door.
Having a few episodes of Sherlock Holmes under my belt, I asked her, "Are you new?"
She said, "Yes."
I asked, "Were you told to be here at 8?"
She said, "Yes."
I said, "Good. I thought maybe I was going crazy."

We looked out at the vast, empty parking lot and the sign on the door that read: "Monday- Friday: 8:30-5:30." It was reassuring that she didn't know where to park, or how long training was or where we were supposed to be either.  We bonded as we laughed.

A two-week-old new hire let us in the building at 8:01.  Then, our boss arrived at 8:30 and told us to sit down at other peoples' desks, which we did while he printed off the paperwork we needed to fill out.

At 9:30, training commenced with a SVP who'd worked for the company for 36 years.  He was entertaining.  There was a powerpoint and lots of talking: first him and then others.  One long powerpoint.  It may have been never ending, and they simply stopped clicking.

They served a catered lunch, which was a pleasant surprise.  I walked over to the Starbucks again, and got a bogo Pumpkin Spice latte with one of the trainers.  It was a solid half-price move that got me through the afternoon of more power points and talking.

We couldn't log onto computers so they sent us up to the call center to listen on calls.  That was fun.

My first impression: I really like the people but not impressed with the organizational skills of the organization.

The highlight of my day came in the form of a text from my uncle.  Background: we'd been talking about this not being my dream job. He said that dream jobs didn't actually exist.  FYI: he thinks dream jobs have a lot in common with unicorns.  So, when I came up for air from the infinite powerpoint and droning, I discovered this text: "Here's my list of dream jobs: Quarterback for a NFL team, lead singer for a world famous rock band, concert pianist, airplane pilot, national sports talk r  adio host, owner of a major league franchise, author of at least two best selling novels, trust fund baby philanthropist."
I responded, "Fast food critic, satirist, sculptor." He responded, "Fast food critic- that's a keeper."  I felt loved and appreciated as I listened to the powerpoint's details.

C'est la vie.  God is good.

job hunt, phase 2

I found a job: full time with benefits.  It even required a college degree. It was frightfully easy and the entire process took less than two weeks.  It feels surreal in a way.  I have no clue why this company and job didn't occur to me before now.  But, it didn't.  I think I may even enjoy it.  At least the first year or so.

I start training Monday at 8a.m.  When I finish training, I'll work Friday-Monday 10am-9pm.  That means I'll have Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

I'm also going to teach a class on (spiritual) journal writing at my church, starting in late October.  I'll have an outlet for teaching.  Things are coming together.  Thanks be to God.

A visit

I took one of my former students on a college visit Friday.  I had to get some transcripts, so I asked if he wanted to go.  He was up for the adventure!  My college, UNC Chapel Hill, is a liberal arts school heavy on humanities and pure sciences. My former student is really good at computers and applied science; so, I decided to take him to NC State too.

When I spoke with my mom about this trip, she told me to look up one of her former students.  Turns out, he's a nuclear engineering student finishing his last semester this fall.  He went into the military after high school. And, I knew him because he's my age, and he was my mom's favorite student that year.

It was also really good to see the State guy.  He's a really awesome guy who's had a tough life but makes no excuses for himself and makes the best of situations.  It was a good reminder of the many ways I've been blessed.  I think it was really good for my student to talk with him because he has a different perspective on things than I do.  In fact, he flat-out told him things that contradicted me.  I told my student that's why you discuss ideas and plans with multiple people.

I think it was good for my student to see the schools.  I think it's hard to imagine college when you've never been to one.  There so much bigger and different than high school.  My student is starting high school this year, and I wanted him to see college to maybe get him motivated to do well.  We'll see if my plan works!

I still have no idea if I want to teach, and I thought the trip may have been clarifying.  I'm going to have lunch with a good friend I've had for over 20 years.  He's good at speaking the truth.

Deluge, Downpour, Etc.

It took 1.5 hours to drive to Columbia over 2.5 hours to get back.  The difference: rain.  We're not talking a gentle, lovely, soaking rain.  We're talking I risked pulling off a six lane interstate rain because I couldn't see 10 feet in front of me.  But, I got home safely.  Clearly. It hadn't even rained at my house.  Summertime thunderstorms, oh,  how I love you.

The meeting was fruitful and provided some hope.  If I understood correctly, their process is far more logical than my state's.  I have some work ahead of me the next couple of days.  The academic standards are far lower to teach middle school than high school.  Needless to say, I'm good to go with the punks.  I just need to swing by Chapel Hill and get some course equivalencies since I was a Classics major (not straight up English or History).  My Classics and Comparative Lit classes should make up the deficit in English.  But, I've never taken a European History Class.  That's kind of bad and explains a lot.

Also, two supernatural things?  I was looking for Zaxby's (a chicken fast food joint) and turned around in the parking lot of the building that my meeting was in three hours later.  That seemed like a good sign.  But, when I got in my car after the shindig, U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" was playing.  Background info: I've been praying that God reveal himself in all this madness.  My take away: He's got a sense of humor.

I really enjoyed lunch with my brother at Chipotle.  A balance of levity and gravity exist in our conversations.  I'm always amazed what a fantastic guy he is.  He's witty and caring.  I think he got my pragmatic gene. Dude, I'm totally a doting, big sister.

I got home at 9pm.  Did I run? Yes.  But 3 miles instead of the prescribed 6.  I'll make it up tomorrow.

more plans...

Tomorrow, I'm headed to another state capitol to see about teaching.  They'll look at my transcripts and tell me about the Lateral Entry process... since I know nothing about it... The worst case scenario is: I get to have lunch with my little brother.  The best case scenario: I land a history position in a high school in a cool city.  There a total of three cool cities in this state.

My other plans include running.  I spoke with my cousin with whom I did a 24-hour adventure race about fighting the DPI.  He told me I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell because the guidelines are linked to state and federal funding.  I told him thanks for explaining it to me because I was going on logic rather than funding. But, while we were chatting, he told me that he wanted to do an ultra marathon.  I hem-hawed.  But, I think I'm in for phase one. I'm planning to run a marathon on November 16; it's a local one so it's no big commitment.  I won't run for time; I'll run for completion-- with a goal of 4:30 or 4:45.  Then there are several fairly local 50 k's and 50 milers in January and February.  Then there's a really nice (flat and temperate) 100 miler the first week of April we could do.

I'm so depressed and despondent about employment that I think I need a new outlet.  If I stick with this, I'll see results... unlike applying for jobs or dating.

reflection on the interview

As you could tell, I was pretty excited about the interview and thought it went well.  Let's be honest, I also really liked being treated like a desirable professional (being flown down and being put up in a suite) instead of a beggar being done a favor. But, I'm constantly humbled by how many things are out of my control.  I really think it came down that the other person was less expensive and easier to hire: the school would have had to pay a 3-4k finder's fee to the teacher placement service they used to find me, plus the move, and the hassle of getting certified in FL.  My consolation is that I think the middle school principal liked me a lot.  This same kind of thing happened to me last year (except the principal made a verbal offer... then rescinded it-- I could have sued but didn't).  

Oddly enough, I'm feeling a peace about it and renewed confidence.  I get carried away about finding a job... any job, instead of figuring out what precisely I have to offer (and how to market it).  I have a bizarre, niche resume, which actually suits me-- much like my new quirky haircut that I get lots of compliments on.  I just have to find the organizations that have a need for my niche. Last week's interview was a reminder that a market for my professional self exists.  I'm learning that it's just as impossible to undersell myself as to oversell myself.  We're in a really bizarre economy right now where people are uber-specialized yet multi-faceted.  And, I guess I am both those things.  I think I need to get more technologically savvy for whatever I do.

I'm making some last ditch attempts at teaching employment for this upcoming year, and then am back to the drawing board for short term employment.  I'm really leaning towards waiting tables so I have mental energy and imagination left to put into my job search.

Friday or Monday

At 8:52 pm, the head of the middle school called to let me know they offered the job to another candidate because she had experience teaching two AP History classes. He then told me to consider the school in the future.  I responded, "Thanks."

Back to the drawing boards... yet again.  Each time I feel more diminished and less human... even though it's never personal... and never me.

No Olympics today, but up until the phone call of death the day was good.  I spent it with my mom, aunt and great aunt in Greensboro, enjoying one another's company.

so tired...

I'm drinking a 8.50 glass of really crappy CabSav and am finished with the 1.5 days of interviewing.  I don't feel overly interviewed (but utterly exhausted) after all of it because they talked more than I did for the most part (I'm not sure if that's good or bad).  I feel like I met some interesting people.  I don't know if that's a good or bad sign.  I felt a lot better about the position up until I was getting into the cab, and the guy told me that I was one of three candidates, and that I would hear from him Friday or Monday.  He told me that he wanted to leave no stone unturned.  That comment just inserted a storm cloud into my blue skies.

I thought it went well.  But, now I'm wondering if it did, in fact, go well.  I guess this is where faith kicks in.  Persistence enters stage left. I think I'd enjoy the school and would be a good fit.  It was far more laid-back than the last school at which I interviewed last.  It was unpretentious.  The school motto is even (gasp) in English... not translated Latin.  Classes are short, which is a good thing in my book.  One teacher I spoke with said, "I like this school because I'm treated like I'm a professional, who I am."

I'm concerned because I'm probably one of the more expensive candidates. The guy spoke about how much using the teacher placement service cost: 3-4k if they hire me.  They'd probably also offer me housing (at no cost to me).  On the other hand, a local wouldn't have any of those additional costs.  Schools have budgets too; even very chihuahua ones.

Then again, there were some positives.  They flew me in.  I was a rower, and rowing coaches are hard to find.  I've taught Language Arts, and there's a strong emphasis on writing in this course.  They finger printed me for a background check.  I have the same alma mater as the guy who interviewed me.  People seemed to like me, but it's harder to tell with well-mannered people.

Regardless, come Monday, I exit this psychological limbo of possibility.  I pray that I'm strong enough for both outcomes.  Supporting two possible futures is sometimes overwhelming.

learning to savor

Savor

Today I met two people from southern Florida who were big fans of the area.  That was one of my biggest concerns about moving is the actual place.  I'm not really a huge fan of tropical weather, and I don't know anyone.

These ladies seemed a little jealous of my interview and the possibility of moving down there.  The second girl (the one who gave me highlights) said there was a lot to do, and that it was far easier to meet people down there.  She said you go to the beach to meet friends.  Ride a bike, you'll meet people.  Go out for coffee, you'll meet people.  That sounds doable, right?

She said it was a far more relaxed place then around here.  People dress and act more casually because it's hot.  Really?  She said there were less heels and makeup. Really?  But, she said there was a lot of traffic-- not as bad as DC, but worse than here.  I know how to deal with traffic.

I was also told it's a great time to purchase property.  Not that I'm in a position to purchase property, but that sounds good.  Actually, several people have told me that.  I might be able to buy a condo... on the beach.  That definitely sounds doable... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

She could tell that I'm a little amped up about getting the job.  She told me that they had to be pretty interested in me because they were flying me down.  I hadn't really considered it from that perspective.  I'm probably one of two candidates-- or something along those lines.  I really hope that a nearby person doesn't come in and snatch the position.

School starts in a month, so things have to go quickly.  I'll probably find out by the end of next week-- a week. I am nervous about finding a place to stay, but I feel that God is in this because of the conversations, the "luck", etc.  I just need to do my best, and things will work out as planned.  If it doesn't pan out, it won't be the first time I've had a turn of bad luck, right?  And, I've managed to survive.  Transition reveals all the vulnerability of your situation; clothing always rips at the seams.  Liminal space is the most delicate, volatile and rich.  It's so dangerous.  It reveals all your illusions about control.

Tomorrow, I'm going to research interview questions and answers.  Not that I can control it, but I can prepare.  It's part of savoring the hope I feel.  I'm trying to savor the possibility.

Flo Rida Part 2

"Me" on my little metaphorical sailboat

Today started late.  I woke up at 9:30.  I went to the farmer's market, visited the nursing home bringing my friends flowers, and received a call from the head of middle school at the Florida school.  (BOOM!  I'm flying down there next Tuesday for an interview.)  I then went to my appointment for my brow wax.  I even stopped by my favorite thrift store, and it was having a sale.  I got a navy cotton J.Crew suit that fits well for $12; it doesn't require any alterations (but I'll have to wear flats).  I bought a suit because I only own a tropical weight wool suit.  I don't care what weight it is; if it's wool, it's not going to work in southern Florida in July.  I went by the 24/7 prayer room and... prayed. Then,  I got my hair chopped.  The stylist told me, "You have a fantastic jawline for short hair."  I said, "Thank you."  Because she said I had a fantastic jaw.  Too bad jaws are underrated.  Now all I need to do is find a "jaw guy".

I came home and booked the flight.  I'm putting it on my card, and the school is going to reimburse me. I'm spending one night.

It's good to feel the breeze of hope.  I'm going to hoist my sail and see where it leads.  I'm very thankful to Jesus for this much needed break.  When I told my mom, I think she was happier for me than even I was.  I love the Mom.

Maybe I'm going to start sleeping in on principal.

no jobbie in abu dhabi

Just found out the school's filled the position.  The shock is that I'm more bummed than I thought I would be.  Bummer.

onwards and upwards, onwards and upwards

Can I tell you how ridiculously tired I am of being underemployed?  and of the sense of helplessness it's stirred in me.  There's a sense of despair that accompanies repeatedly putting yourself out there, and receiving either rejection or nothing in return.

I finally found a job that I really, really want.  One that makes me beyond excited.  It's a global mobile high school.  Each semester is spent in a different city.  I'd be teaching the history of the city we'd be living in.  How awesome would that be?!?  Can you imagine?

So, they don't have an open position now... I've already heard.  But, I'm going to send them my cover letter and resume to hold.

The in between phase looks like it may be overseas teaching.  I'm interested in two schools.  One in the Middle East (high GDPs, I'm looking at you) and former USSR (flexibility and one-year contract, I'm looking at you).  Apparently, I'm pretty attractive because I have teaching experience, a Master's, and am single.

It's nice to be found desirable.  Now, I have to figure out what my non-negotiables are.  And, I'm calling around to find the easiest certification route.  I'm wondering if there's some flexible red-tape somewhere, esp. on election year.

I wish I had a longer discernment period, but at least I'm looking forward to having some decisions to make.

I have some financial goals that need to be met, and this seems like the best avenue of approach.  If it comes down to taking some classes to get my certification, I could do that overseas while making some money.  As much as my Japan teaching experience was a failure, I did learn a lot.  I'm only looking at large cities and schools with English or British curriculums.  

Here's the rub.  True love and family-- am I putting it on hold? Maybe, but I don't think so.  My love life is terrible right now because of my employment situation.  The guy I'm interested in does not reciprocate the interest (and I can't really blame him... I'm a little depressing right now.... although I'll feel sorry for him when I get back on track for not recognizing the diamond in the rough).  My friend M relieved me of some of my fear by saying, it only takes one guy in a city of millions.

I'm studying Proverbs right now, and it's been good.   My take-away has been quite different from what I expected, and that's a good sign. 

Onwards and upwards, friends!  Hoist your sail while the wind blows!