Oh yeah, back in the saddle

The interview for a part-time teaching gig went swimmingly.  They were pleased that I have all of my teeth, rudimentary understanding of professional attire, ability to speak in complete sentences, and have reasonable mastery over subject-verb agreement.  They were so impressed with my educational background in Classics and History that they asked me if I could teach math.  I responded, "Sure."  But, I added the caveat of up to Algebra-- nothing fancy.  And, they were interested in my teaching ESL.  I feel like I sufficiently described my teaching experiences.  I didn't embellish.  How does one embellish teaching 7th grade at a Title One school?  When it comes down to it: my resume is odd... and getting odder.  But, it fits me.

Seriously, it went brilliantly, and I need to write thank-you notes.

I was the only one reeling from the irony of my 15-minute lesson on Time Management.  When I ran my lesson by the Chief last night, she said that there were perhaps some aspects of the lesson from which I could benefit. Touche, Chief, touche.

****

I've also been working on my lesson and scheduling for the Wednesday night class at my church.  I've been compiling my first hand-out.  So much fun-- it's about common-placing.  So, I'm leading by example.  Here's the blurb I wrote for the bulletin:

Journaling is an active process of connecting versus compartmentalizing: it integrates our thoughts, feelings, actions, prayers, memories, hope, faith, Scripture, news, TV, art.  We're Calvinists; we don't believe things happen by accident.  Journaling is a way to be honest and discover. However, the ability to connect takes effort and practice.  In this class, we'll follow Luci Shaw's Life Path: Personal and Spiritual Growth through Journal Writing.  The class will consist of brief introductions of topics, discussion and practice.

****

I'm getting excited about getting to teach a little.

A visit

I took one of my former students on a college visit Friday.  I had to get some transcripts, so I asked if he wanted to go.  He was up for the adventure!  My college, UNC Chapel Hill, is a liberal arts school heavy on humanities and pure sciences. My former student is really good at computers and applied science; so, I decided to take him to NC State too.

When I spoke with my mom about this trip, she told me to look up one of her former students.  Turns out, he's a nuclear engineering student finishing his last semester this fall.  He went into the military after high school. And, I knew him because he's my age, and he was my mom's favorite student that year.

It was also really good to see the State guy.  He's a really awesome guy who's had a tough life but makes no excuses for himself and makes the best of situations.  It was a good reminder of the many ways I've been blessed.  I think it was really good for my student to talk with him because he has a different perspective on things than I do.  In fact, he flat-out told him things that contradicted me.  I told my student that's why you discuss ideas and plans with multiple people.

I think it was good for my student to see the schools.  I think it's hard to imagine college when you've never been to one.  There so much bigger and different than high school.  My student is starting high school this year, and I wanted him to see college to maybe get him motivated to do well.  We'll see if my plan works!

I still have no idea if I want to teach, and I thought the trip may have been clarifying.  I'm going to have lunch with a good friend I've had for over 20 years.  He's good at speaking the truth.

practice makes perfect

I decided to do my homework and find some interview questions.  I found some really good questions out there on the internets.  Ones that regard my philosophy of education, how I evaluate mastery, what the necessary elements are in designing a lesson.

It made me remember all the things I love about teaching and "middle level" students.  Middle school is more hands-on teaching, which is so much more fun and interesting than discussing facts.  Maybe we'll build a plan of a city, or design an outfit that a person would wear in the middle ages.  We'll get to connect current events with the motifs that we're studying.  After all, the human condition is universal.  Of course I lecture, but I get to use Socratic method and secondary methods (creating a group project that the students can extract the information and ideas from together for themselves).  There's such a high from hearing your students having an interesting conversation about the material, esp. relating it to themselves.

I caught myself looking at apartments and condos and getting nervous.  So, I put my nervous energy into thinking about the job.  It's also helping me develop questions I have about the position and a litmus for deciding if it's a good fit.  Mostly, the exercise got me excited and positive.  I really enjoy talking and thinking about how pedagogy of history needs to adapt to the digital environment.

onwards and upwards, onwards and upwards

Can I tell you how ridiculously tired I am of being underemployed?  and of the sense of helplessness it's stirred in me.  There's a sense of despair that accompanies repeatedly putting yourself out there, and receiving either rejection or nothing in return.

I finally found a job that I really, really want.  One that makes me beyond excited.  It's a global mobile high school.  Each semester is spent in a different city.  I'd be teaching the history of the city we'd be living in.  How awesome would that be?!?  Can you imagine?

So, they don't have an open position now... I've already heard.  But, I'm going to send them my cover letter and resume to hold.

The in between phase looks like it may be overseas teaching.  I'm interested in two schools.  One in the Middle East (high GDPs, I'm looking at you) and former USSR (flexibility and one-year contract, I'm looking at you).  Apparently, I'm pretty attractive because I have teaching experience, a Master's, and am single.

It's nice to be found desirable.  Now, I have to figure out what my non-negotiables are.  And, I'm calling around to find the easiest certification route.  I'm wondering if there's some flexible red-tape somewhere, esp. on election year.

I wish I had a longer discernment period, but at least I'm looking forward to having some decisions to make.

I have some financial goals that need to be met, and this seems like the best avenue of approach.  If it comes down to taking some classes to get my certification, I could do that overseas while making some money.  As much as my Japan teaching experience was a failure, I did learn a lot.  I'm only looking at large cities and schools with English or British curriculums.  

Here's the rub.  True love and family-- am I putting it on hold? Maybe, but I don't think so.  My love life is terrible right now because of my employment situation.  The guy I'm interested in does not reciprocate the interest (and I can't really blame him... I'm a little depressing right now.... although I'll feel sorry for him when I get back on track for not recognizing the diamond in the rough).  My friend M relieved me of some of my fear by saying, it only takes one guy in a city of millions.

I'm studying Proverbs right now, and it's been good.   My take-away has been quite different from what I expected, and that's a good sign. 

Onwards and upwards, friends!  Hoist your sail while the wind blows!

too much of a good thing?

"learning curve"

The knitting class lived up to my expectations. I was the "special student". I had a 2:1 teacher-student ratio. But by the end of the intense tutorial that lasted thirty minutes longer than everybody else's, I had an idea what I was supposed to do. It was helpful to hear two people explain it. I have to say the pharmacist- former chemistry teacher's really anal directions were the most helpful. She would narrate what I was doing and correct me as I go. She gave me pointers about the yarn always being to the right and paying attention to the tension of the string. The other girl helped me break it into steps. She also told me I was going to be a natural. I think I'll like knitting; it'll be a good past time for when there's too much background commotion to read. And, i may become good enough to knit Christmas and fall and winter birthday presents.

a close up of my knitting genius

*****
The job took. They like me, and I like them. It's a physical job: I come home dirty, sweaty and tired. But, I get to chat while I sweat. I really enjoy the ladies with whom I work. They're very protective of me. A customer was snippy with me, an she jumped on him: "There's no need to be rude to us." I love the "us". Everybody works hard. I'm still in the honeymoon phase, but I feel I have a lot to learn from these women. They seem to be pretty good at being content and putting others first.

*****
The first interview of the week went fairly well today. There were a lot of people. I didn't have the best 5-minute lesson, but it was good. I didn't have cute visual aids that worked with the impact of roads on the success of the Roman empire. But, I did have the shock factor. There was this one guy who was a punk to the girl who taught about Christopher Columbus. Yeah, the political and technological history of the Roman Empire exceeded his pay grade. Good luck: I was in line to go first with my lesson, but a fellow Heel volunteered which put me going 7th. I did some good brainstorming while watching the other people teach their lessons. Bad luck: I got the last interview slot and had a lot of down time between the first part of my day and the last part. I got really hungry.

relief!

Thursday I finished and faxed my appeal. I faxed it again on Friday just for good measure. My brother took the copy over to the business. My cousin told me to wrap my head around the fact that my winning was a total crap shoot. But, I think the odds are slightly in my favor because of economy and political party in power. I hope I'm right. I really, really hope. It ultimately comes down to who is the referee and God.

I taught my long awaited Advent seminar this morning to six people two of whom I'm related. I had a technology scare this morning: I connected my computer to the projector, and the screen didn't project. Then, about fifteen minutes later it did. Plus an IT guy came. God had it covered. But, it was an ideal start because we could fit around a table and talk, which is what I envisioned. People talked... a little too much. I went in concerned about getting people engaged. The people who came were ready to talk. The problem was I got through about half of my material. We missed some really good stuff. My uncle and brother gave me good feedback; they're probably the most honest. My brother told me that I brought my A game, but I need to work on speaking more fluidly. He said I made little noises (hmm, okay) that detracted from the presentation. He's probably right because I hadn't fully thought out what I was going to say. I made some bullet points. Plus, I was monitoring other people to see how they were doing. Teaching has definitely helped me with facilitating a group. I just called on people to read or respond. A lady pointed out the irony of the words of "o come, o come Emmanuel": we're saying "come" to God-with-us. I wanted a unhurried, meditative pace, and I got it. I might need to speed it up next time. It was a positive experience.

I'm feeling paranoid about church now because this lady I barely know told me while smiling and nodding her head, "Now, I know how you really are." I dodged her question with a vague answer the previous week; it was the kind of thing my grandmother would say. I said something like: "I'll think about it" instead of a flat no. I'm trying to adjust to being in the South. So, I wonder if she gossiped with other ladies.

And, I told my roommate (who goes to the church) that I'd keep her dog for the month of December if she paid me $10/day-- the going rate is at least $25. I thought she'd be pleased. She told me,"You're being outrageous! I'll take the dog to Florida." Then told me how ungrateful I was; um, I pay rent. Rent must not count as gratitude. So I am glad I asked in order to stand up for myself, but I think it definitely put a rift in our relationship because she demonstrated an attitude that's come out before of my owing her something. I promised to keep her dog in September for her trip to Switzerland and in January for her trip to Honduras; I didn't promise to dog sit for month-long periods for free whenever she decides. I miss the dog more... at least so far. I promised myself a new place by May 1st; it may be sooner because there's a weird, unhealthy dynamic. (Seriously?!? This is pathetic, but it took up a lot of head and heart space this week.)

Good news: a weekly tutoring gig is in the works, and it hopefully starts tomorrow. And, a lady contacted me about nannying. I need to find out more, but there's potential. It looks like I may be able to teach in Anchorage just on my Praxis scores; I need to call. I'm back in touch with an old friend in town, which has been really nice. I exercised every day except Thursday; I think joining the gym is going to improve morale. Huzzah!

Advent: 2nd Coming

Come, Lord Jesus!

Come, Lord Jesus! Do I dare
Cry: Lord Jesus, quickly come!
Flash the lightning in the air,
Crash the thunder on my home!
Should I speak this awful prayer?
Come, Lord Jesus, help me dare.

Come, Lord Jesus! You I call
To come (come soon!) are not the child
Who lay once in the manger stall
Are not the infant meek and mild.
You come in judgment on our all:
Help me to know you, whom I call.

Come, Lord Jesus! Come this night
With your purging and your power,
For the earth is dark with blight
And in sin we run and cower
Before the splendid, raging sight
Of the breaking of the night.

Come, my Lord! Our darkness end!
Break the bonds of time and space.
All the powers of evil rend
By the radiance of your face.
The laughing stars with joy attend:
Come Lord Jesus! By my end!

L'engle

I can't get this to fit on a power point slide. Should I break it up or just pick a couple of stanzas? If a break up, which stanzas would you choose?

the lasso

This afternoon a boy walked into class with this round fabric bag with handles and set it down on the reading chair in the back.

I asked, "Is that your drum?"
The boy stared at me then said, "Nah, it's my rope."

He proceeded to unzip the bag and get out a blue rope and demonstrate that it was not only a rope but a lasso. I told him he'd have to put it up until Show & Tell. Of course, my slower kids looked around asking, "We have Show & Tell?" So at the end of a long 90 minute class (they lost their break), I told the kid he could show me his lassoing skills after bus riders were dismissed if he could find a willing participant.

I teach 7th grade, so it wasn't hard for him to find a guinea pig or, in this case, a bull. So, from 3:10 to 3:30 he practiced throwing his rope without a human target in the back of the room. He kept muttering, "It ain't coiling right."

Finally the announcement was made: "All remaining bus riders please report to the cafeteria." Four boys and I headed out to the grass outside my classroom. Lasso Boy instructed the other boys on the proper way they should run so he could lasso them.

They ran, and he critiqued,"Pick up your feet more." Or "A little slower."

And, I asked the boys running, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
They nodded their heads.

I asked the lasso boy, "You're not going to make them fall, are you?"
He responded, "I'll try not to."

There were about ten failed attempts before he successfully lassoed a kid's left foot. I told him, "I was losing faith, but now I believe you." He smiled, "It weren't coiling right."

results unimpressive

I woke up in the middle of the night to find that it was three minutes before my alarm was to sound. I felt both relief and anguish. The first day back was rougher than I had anticipated due to my students being awake and happy to see one another.

My "seek the good" at work was sorely tested by both printers being out of toner (they were out of toner before we left for Christmas) and a student saying about Greek mythology, "This is stupid. When am I ever going to USE Greek mythology!" What a bizarre and depressing idea: using a story. It's such a consumer mentality. I guess I consider ideas and stories on the same plane as friends-- there's an intrinsic value and usefulness even if you don't get to use them per se.

It's so much easier to be holy when reading theology than when teaching middle school. Every once in a while I get a glimpse of the weight and awesomeness of my students' souls, but a lot of the time they feel like punks. I wanted to ask three kids in my last class, "Why did you bother showing up to school today? Seriously, why did you bother?" I refrained.

My mom reminds me that I have no idea what they went through over break, which is true. Some of these kids have rough lives. It's just that I wish they wouldn't fight me on everything. One kid yelled at me at least five times-- I didn't send him out because that's precisely what he wanted. Most of the other students are to the point with him they just roll their eyes. I'm perfecting what my mom refers to as the "flat affect". I don't raise my voice; I just repeat myself like a broken record until I get what he wants. I was not very loving today; but, at least I didn't yell.

My students' journal entry was a minimum of five goals for 2011. I told them the more specific the better. Some of them took it seriously.

I also found out that I'm eligible for some loan forgiveness by teaching at my school; however, I have to teach for five years. I don't think the tax free 5k is worth that price. Teaching students that don't want to be in school drains a teacher. Teaching in a school system that doesn't value learning and thought puts a strain on a teacher as well. This job would wear Richard Simmons down.

My highlight of the day came at the expense of breaking one of my goals: I went out to eat with my mom and brother. But, it was worth it. We talked about Medusa and cuties. There's just something to be said for shared history.

fun with fritattas

I have never made a fritatta, and I'm not sure I've eaten one. But, I got curious because I heard about them, and they seem like an easy quiche. And, I thought the word sounded Spanish. I was wrong: it's Italian for omelette. However, I think I want to make a spinach and mushroom one after I finish up my casseroles.

I had my brother over for dinner. He was an easy guest. Of course, I wasn't at my apartment when he got there. I was on a a beer walk (he once noted, "J, I'm not gay. I don't drink red wine or hot tea.") So, things didn't run smoothly, but that's part of the fun. Hospitality feels a lot like teaching in that respect. He said he liked the salmon casserole better than the Mexican one when he was prepared to enjoy the Mexican. I like how easy going he is-- I had chips and salsa out on the table then served yeast rolls. He didn't blink an eye. Then, "for entertainment", we went on a walk and swung on the elementary school swings and talked about life and jobs. I had a great time. Of course, he's had years of practice with my antics.

So, I borrowed "Love Walked In" by Marisa De Los Santos from the library because my sister said she could see me writing some of the sentences in it. That piqued my interest: what kind of sentences would I write? It looks like chit lit (bad); it's a NYT bestseller (less bad).

I've finished my homework for my Bible study, but haven't done the writing assigment for my Spanish class. I'm supposed to write a single's want ad peppered with reflexive verbs. If I do it, I'll just write random sentences with "me gusta" and "nos preocupa", etc. I get she's trying to do "authentic writing" exercises, but that kind of writing is the antithesis of authentic for me.

I didn't run today. I grade Rikki-tikki-tavi tests instead.

character vs. fate

I've been particularly inspired with my teaching as of late. I'm figuring out new ways to present ideas. For instance, I've been using images to teach vocabulary... and it works. All I have to say is "big eggplant shakes his finger at little eggplant" and my kids will say "admonish". And, I made 100-point font versions of the words and cut them out and color coded them for my kinesthetic (sp?) learners-- and they loved it. I've added this to the already popular "vocabulary charades"-- the kids ask to play it. I'm keen to see their test scores after this approach. When I do this kind of lesson, it's how I'd imagined teaching would be.

Today I decided to do visuals for my conflict presentation/ power point. I enjoyed it: the kids brought up interesting examples. And, it wasn't until I was drinking Pepsi and reading Mocking Bird at Ikea did one of my questions for my students hit me: "What are the types of conflict are in your life?" And, I realized so much of my angst is character vs. fate and character vs. self (i.e. internal). I rail against my life-- it's so not what I had in mind. And sometimes the dissonance between what I want and I what I have is suffocating. And, I don't know how to get to where I want... and sometimes I can't even name what I am pining after.

For instance, I'm Southern: I was born in the South to to Southerners. It doesn't get much more southern than that (each side is at least 4 generations back). Yet, as a friend observed, "You're the least southern Southerner I've ever met. I know transplants that are more southern than you." Then, last night I lifted my funk about (what feels like) my perpetual singleness by looking at pictures from various trips. It was a good reminder of some of the amazingness I've experienced that a lot of people will never experience. It eased the pain of not getting to experience a relationship. Travelling in Japan, Galapogos, Greece, Macchu Pichu isn't the same as having kids, but neither will they mutate into teenagers.

I think I need to come up with a schedule so that I stay busy with stuff that heads me in the direction that I want to go. Like tonight I should have studied and read instead of shopping without buying anything. I guess it was good encouragement to run since the pants were not a desirable fit and I didn't waste any money. But, otherwise, it was a waste of time. But, I need to focus on the positive.

prep for spring break

It's surreal that we've made it to Spring Break. I just printed up my grades to sign and hand in to the secretary.

Now I'm off to a 30 minute abs class. I'm not sure my abs are up for 30 minutes of anything, esp. working. We'll see. It's my friends birthday and this is what she wanted to do.

And, I signed up for two 10ks. One is next Saturday-- it's a road race. One is May 22-- it's a trail run at the National Whitewater center. I think I'm ready for 10ks but not quite there for halfs.

Found some awesome vegan recipes. Citrus Basil Lentils.

Heading up to Richmond tomorrow.

computer hospice

My five year-old computer is shuddering through her last breaths. So, sorry for the absence of posts. Plus, the janitor was locking up the school at 4:30 instead of 5:30-- so there went another opportunity.

But, the weather is gorgeous. It's in the best and most fleeting part of spring. It's that two-three week window of flowers and the lively, new green and perfect temperature. It's glorious to walk outside-- everything around you is magical. It's like being in a fairytale. Finding a little fairy perched on a toadstool wouldn't feel that uncanny right now. Or a little gnome digging in the dirt.

Yesterday, the 7th grade went to Old Salem in Winston-Salem, NC. It was a fantastic field trip-- my only regret was that we didn't stay longer. I was in charge of 9 students who behaved beautifully. I took all the brats because I wasn't going to dump them on the parent volunteers. So, I was dreading it a little. But, the kids were fascinated with all the tours and guns and ideas. I bought them hot cross buns and we chatted about Easter symbolism and moravian baking. I think it helped that I thouroughly enjoyed myself-- it's a good reminder. Kids are like horses; they smell emotion.

Then last night after attending to business (faxing and mailing applications), I went to my new favorite restaurant and had a portabello sandwich and went to a GK Chesterton lecture. The lecture was phenomenal. A professor dressed up as GK Chesterton and gave the lecture from his perspective. It was delightful and thought-provoking. Chesterton was such a witty guy that it was a brilliant idea. Then, this morning after pilates, my book club discussed his Orthodoxy-- how providential was that?

One more week of Lent to go! I'm ready for some meat and bread. I've lost about ten pounds and feeling really good. It's been a really good experience and reminder.

After much angst, I've decided to attend one of the thirty singles sunday school class. For some reason, this has been a really tough decision. Clearly, it represents a lot of unresolved issues in my psyche and heart. It feels like admitting defeat-- a lot like resignation. Plus, I get fairly annoyed in these kinds of set ups; a down side of studying theology. But, clearly, I need something if I went through so much angst. I'm just so completely opposed to categorizing.

I'm applying to some jobs and programs. I hate waiting.

bronchitis

A bad bout of bronchitis is making me feel like death... and sound like it too. I went to the doctor and got meds. So, I should be on the mend. Apparently, my sicknesses are related to allergies... and everything is in bloom. It's glorious outside. Perfect.

The conference was inspiring. It reminded me there is a point to teaching... beyond the paperwork, annoying parents and lack of supplies.

I was at school one, whopping day this week. Yea, spring break... well conference and death by bronchitis.

I bought some really fun fabric today (I can see my sister rolling her eyes now). I am checking Consumer Reports on sewing machines.

letdown

I was so sure we were going to get a snow day... or at least a two-hour delay. Nothing. I was miffed this morning (and still am a little... can you tell?) But, I got an excellent workout out of my self-generated hype as I mentioned before.

The Chief has been sick, and I've been cranky with her. It's just that all her drama and loud breathing are getting to me. And, she sends me out multiple times to get a single item. I told her last night before I went on a hamburger mission-- Is there anything else? Then I listed about twenty things I thought she might want or need. She wanted rainbow sherbert to soothe her throat. So, I saved myself an extra trip.

I'm going to skip my writing class because I think I'm coming down with what the Chief has. Dayquil can only stave it off for so long.

My students were far better behaved today. I can't pinpoint what was different: it has to be a mixture of them and me. But, I didn't argue-- instead, I was a broken record, which is far more effective with this age group.

As for the Daniel Fast, 2 of 6 weeks have been completed. I've lost 8.2 lbs. I'm praying more regularly-- I've set aside ten minutes of my commute each way, and inevitably I pray more or get side tracked. And, I'm more in tune/aware of my physical, mental and spiritual goings on. It's not as if I've stopped sinning or become holy, but it's as if I can see sin for what it is. How I'm eating is affecting how I'm sleeping, my running, my energy level (all for the better). I'm feeling how integrated my body is. Although I had a really emotionally rough night last night-- overall, life feels more manageable. Perhaps, it's because of the discipline being applied in one area.
Anyway, I'm a big fan of this fast.

biz E

*Busyness and no internet at home are my only excuses. Sorry. I didn't even make my self-imposed quota for February. C'est la vie.

*Career Day went well, leaving me very pleased. My cousin's law school friend had an interesting presentation with pictures he'd used in court, but he had an even cooler message of dedication and persistence.

*The custodian has given me a deadline to get out of the building: 5:30. It seems reasonable, but when you have a bunch of parent conferences and a bunch of work to be done on the computer and things to run off. It gets dicey.

*So, some people are calling for snow, and some people are calling for cold rain. I want snow, but the rain people have a stronger argument. All shall be revealed by 6am tomorrow.

*I went to a Yoga class last night-- my first since college. It wasn't that scary; there were other yoga-phonies in there like I am-- they had on lacrosse t-shirts. But, I am sore: there's some funky bending and lifting going on.

*I now must put a hotel on my credit card for the middle school conference and get my stuff ready to start the novel.

*Lent is going well except I inadvertently ate some cheese in a vegetarian lasagna. I just wasn't thinking.

what do it matter?

Work was rough, r-u-f-f, today. I considered screaming (and probably did raise my voice) during some more ridiculous meetings. And, the seventh graders were being, well, seventh graders. I commanded, "Get back to your seat!" And the response was, "But, I was only a couple of steps away from it." (It's in line with my favorite: "I wasn't talking-- I was asking a question!") And, I put grades into the system for over an hour. Why am I teacher?

But, several of my boys got really into Anne McCaffrey's "Smallest Dragonboy" as did I. It's a really good story and it's part of a trilogy. So, two of them went to the library to get copies. That's rewarding.

And, I had a lovely run. It was about 3.5 miles and on the slowish side. But, very relaxing and the temperature was not too hot and not too cold.

Plus, I got my first tangible reward (besides comments) from this stinking blog. A book... how apropos. The publishers sent me "What Do It Matter?" by the guys who wrote "Same Kind of Different As Me". I'm looking forward to reading it after my weird little sci-fi.

I still haven't written my article for my class tomorrow. And, I don't want to, and I'm tempted to drop out of the class. But, I spent over one hundred dollars on it. So, I might as well go even if I don't have my homework. It's supposed to be fun not to stress me out. And, Career Day's the following day and I need to prep for myself and two other guys plus look nice.

I still haven't applied to any new jobs. It's hard not having internet access on my personal computer. (I'm at the library now.) And, reading the article in the Atlantic about the job landscape wasn't exactly encouraging. And, is teaching even a good fit? Or, will I find any job incredibly stressful being a stressball and all?

Writing all this down puts into rather harsh (and hilarious) perspective. Ah, running and writing and reading-- God's gifts to my curmudgeonly (sp?) soul. Lent isn't feeling overly spiritual, but I am praying more. And, I'm realizing what a stress eater I am. Yowsers, a couple of times this week, I'd gladly demolished a coke and a candy bar and had to settle for raw almonds or a cup of pineapple.

weather report

It's a gloomy, wet, gray day-- perfect napping weather. I did yawn several times in my classes. And, I had TWO unexpected parent conferences-- we're talking about two hours of yakking about kids. One of them might prove worthwhile.

I had a beautiful, enjoyable, semi-productive weekend. I went for a run yesterday which was nice, but could tell that my caloric intake is down. And church was good although I find it irritating-- it's probably a reason I need to go. My church just makes me angry on several different levels. I have to pray myself through the services: exploration (what and why am I feeling this emotion) and confession (so often it's self-centeredness and pride and other types of my favorite sins).

The food aspect is going remarkably well. My appetite is definitely suppressed-- I'm eating when I'm not hungry to insure that my caloric intake is high enough. The Chief surmised that it's eliminating high corn fructose or whatever from my diet, which never lets you feel satiated. I feel better overall. But, the spiritual is still difficult. I'm praying more and reading my Bible. But, the journaling just isn't happening.

I found more schools to apply to. I'm going to do that and swim tonight.

lent confession

Yesterday my sister and I embarked on a rather ambitious Lent. We're doing the Daniel Fast for all of Lent. The Daniel Fast is basically a Vegan diet minus leavened bread, sugar and caffiene. I went home from school with a migraine yesterday afternoon and slept from 5-8pm then went back to bed from 10-6am. As inauspicious beginning as it might seem, I'm actually kind of excited. Whenever I've been on retreat sleep is a really big factor, especially at the beginning. So, although I slept through the Ash Wednesday service and haven't felt particularly soulful-- I'm still hopeful. This kind of thing is about faith afterall. I've picked the two areas of my life I'm praying into and about. I also know the people I'm praying for.

Now, I have a medium-sized headache. I'm introducing my centers tomorrow in class. It should be a little fun and crazy.

President's Day

During homeroom last Thursday, we discussed what we were going to wear for Valentine's. Red is the right answer in case you were wondering... pink and purple not so much.

So, I quickly steered the conversation to President's Day. I asked them, "What President are you going to dress up as for President's Day?" I got a lot of Lincolns and Washingtons of course, but my favorite response was Benjamin Franklin. I told the kid, "Franklin wasn't a president." He looked at me indignantly and said, "He's on a hundred dollar bill." Which was fairly solid logic. But, we cleared up that misunderstanding.