baby!!

M had her baby today at 2:15 am Pacific Time: Safiya Hope who is 9lbs and 20 inches. It sounds from the brief sketch that I got, that it was an incredibly rough labor-- 34 hours that ended in a C-section. But, Safiya looks like she's pretty sturdy from her stats. It was an incredibly rough pregnancy too. I'm happy for M that all the waiting is over and the real fun begins.

It's so odd to think that two Junes ago I met her bf now husband, I went to their wedding in October, and now they're parents to an incredibly beautiful tank. We serve an amazing God! Sometimes when I whine about the seeming monotony of my life, my sister points out that I have no clue where I'll be in a year (geographically, professionally, relationally)-- that monotony is an illusion. CS Lewis says that it is an illusion that Satan gives us to make us disgruntled and restless. However, M. is living proof you're future is an adventure.

My roommate from Regent is preggers and almost ready to give birth too. It's a baby saturated time. It's so odd to be in such a different place in my life. I'm really excited for them but feel alienated too because this experience is so far outside of mine. Plus, a date seems a reach right now let alone marriage and kids.

So in honor of all my friends' long, intense labors, I'm going to do a 24 hour adventure race with three Marines October 16th. It starts at 12 noon and ends at 12 noon. There's mountain biking, paddling, orienteering and trekking. You carry all of your gear. It's going to be all out insanity. I'm going to be the only girl. It's going to be miserable and awesome!!

character vs. fate

I've been particularly inspired with my teaching as of late. I'm figuring out new ways to present ideas. For instance, I've been using images to teach vocabulary... and it works. All I have to say is "big eggplant shakes his finger at little eggplant" and my kids will say "admonish". And, I made 100-point font versions of the words and cut them out and color coded them for my kinesthetic (sp?) learners-- and they loved it. I've added this to the already popular "vocabulary charades"-- the kids ask to play it. I'm keen to see their test scores after this approach. When I do this kind of lesson, it's how I'd imagined teaching would be.

Today I decided to do visuals for my conflict presentation/ power point. I enjoyed it: the kids brought up interesting examples. And, it wasn't until I was drinking Pepsi and reading Mocking Bird at Ikea did one of my questions for my students hit me: "What are the types of conflict are in your life?" And, I realized so much of my angst is character vs. fate and character vs. self (i.e. internal). I rail against my life-- it's so not what I had in mind. And sometimes the dissonance between what I want and I what I have is suffocating. And, I don't know how to get to where I want... and sometimes I can't even name what I am pining after.

For instance, I'm Southern: I was born in the South to to Southerners. It doesn't get much more southern than that (each side is at least 4 generations back). Yet, as a friend observed, "You're the least southern Southerner I've ever met. I know transplants that are more southern than you." Then, last night I lifted my funk about (what feels like) my perpetual singleness by looking at pictures from various trips. It was a good reminder of some of the amazingness I've experienced that a lot of people will never experience. It eased the pain of not getting to experience a relationship. Travelling in Japan, Galapogos, Greece, Macchu Pichu isn't the same as having kids, but neither will they mutate into teenagers.

I think I need to come up with a schedule so that I stay busy with stuff that heads me in the direction that I want to go. Like tonight I should have studied and read instead of shopping without buying anything. I guess it was good encouragement to run since the pants were not a desirable fit and I didn't waste any money. But, otherwise, it was a waste of time. But, I need to focus on the positive.

tiger rising projects

My students turned in their TR projects today. Well, I should say they were due, and about two-thirds of my students brought their projects. I was appalled at the work... or lack thereof. Seriously? I gave three As and mostly Cs. There's a part of me that blanches at giving a kid an F-- but it would be an insult to the child and all things noble and good to attach any higher grade. No doubt I'm going to get a zillion complaints because interims go out Thursday (and my principal won't back me; she doesn't believe kids should fail-- even if they do absolutely jack). So be it. I can't teach that shoddy work is acceptable. I feel somehow responsible for what they turned in, and I don't know why. This was utterly depressing. Perhaps, I should have explained my expectations better.

I didn't get a run in, which I should have made a priority. I need to join the Y--it's too dark to run when I got home. But, I did work on my Genesis study. It was fun. K, my roommie, referred to me as a "life-long learner" with all my classes and books-- the library loves your type of person. So, when my sister called me a nerd tonight; I corrected her, "I'm a lifelong learner." She responded, "Goodnight, life-long nerd. Happy studying." And, this life-long learner needs a desk in her room, so she can nerd it up in private.

I'm contemplating a second job, but, perhaps, weaning my spending is a better idea. I need to think and pray on it. It'll cut in on my running and studying but will mean I can travel this summer. Perhaps, I can join a low time commitment ponzi scheme.

a long time

Everyone needs a 5 month hiatus every now and again. Mine was put to good use: 3 weeks on the Vineyard, a month in Latin America (Peru (Macchu Pichu), Ecuador (Galapagos Islands)), a weekend get-away to Boston, and I moved about 20 miles in distance, but it feels a lot further.

Update:
- I'm taking Spanish lessons on Wednesdays. There are 3 students in my class; our teacher is from Columbia. I've been to one class, and I'm thinking Level 3 might be a little ambitious. But, it will be fun. Why my sudden interest in Espanol? Embarrassment when I was in Latin America-- everybody I met was multi-lingual except for other Americans. Next, I want to take Hebrew at the Jewish Center. But, I know my limitations... one language at a time.

- I'm loving my classes this year. Let me tell you: good students make all the difference! I actually am kind of excited to go into work. It's as the Chief says it's good to give and receive... you're getting fed too; it makes a difference. And, I am. My emotional climate classroom is much warmer this year. I have about ten readers-- it's so fun to talk books with them. Plus, it's freeing to know that I won't be back next year. I need to get on the process of getting a job lined up.

- Church. I feel hesitant to make the announcement, but I think I've found one. King of Kings Anglican church. The pastor is a Regent grad. It's a teaching church that's into being Jesus' hands and feet. The service had all three of my must-haves: Nicene Creed, Lord's Prayer and expository preaching (he just plowed on through Psalm 84). They're under the Rwandan bishop-- so their talk about the universal church is more than PC chatter. I saw a woman on Sunday that I met at Well of Mercy and was glad to see because she was incredibly interesting and funny. And, there's a women's Bible study on Genesis-- not weight loss or being a loving wife. I'm a fan of the single-sex without the cloyingly sweet subject material. I'm so not a knitter. (This has made me a little giddy. I had no idea how much it had been weighing on me. My ever-pragmatic sister warned me that it won't be perfect because a church is a bunch of people.)

- I moved. I like my cute, little, old apartment. I think my roommate and I will work well together. I love the running-- the neighborhoods are great with huge trees, and there are parks. It's fantastic! And, I can walk to lots of little independent restaurants and an independent theater. It feels like I live in a city. The apartment is tiny, but I'm referring to it as "European" and seeing it as a growth opportunity. I'm way to American with all the crap I have. I need to pare down. Although 100 things is not a realistic goal at this time, I think I can definitely streamline my stuff and work on my attitude and relationship to buying and owning.

I hope to be more frequent. It dawned on me as I started treating my FB status as self-expression that I needed to get back to blogging! Although I terminated all my readership through the hiatus, I'm back! I'm reading Peterson's Reversed Thunder and Collins' Mockingjay. So, I'll report on that and other belly-button flint as I see fit.

Quotation: "Life is too short to be small." Disraeli

acceptance and enjoyment

I feel often I misconstrue openess and acceptance for resignation and failure. It's hard to enjoy something that you feel resigned to doing. And, and I've been fighting resignation is where I've been in my life recently. I feel if I relax into my job and life that it will somehow leech my spirit and future. But, I that's hogwash. As several of my friends point out on an annoyingly frequent nature, I'm in a season.

Today, as I walked down the eigth grade hall, I thought about how different it would look if I knew this was my last year being here. I'd find all the idiosyncracies quaint instead of annoying.

And, today I was really enjoying teaching poetry. It's fun. About half of each of my classes was getting into it too. I tried to bribe and/or ignore the other half. And, several of my students just came up and hugged me. L told me that my outfit was much better today, and that I shouldn't wear heels if I didn't like them. And, a student from last year came and hung out with me after school-- she told me how much I helped her. And, about eight kids stayed around to chat.

Now, I'm off to watch the soccer and baseball games. I have students playing in both. I just got finished helping the art teacher contour draw some of the sections of the mural. Today was a lovely day except for evil secretary yelling at me for something she screwed up. But, the good far outweighed the bad.

This is enjoyment and acceptance not resignation... I think. When I came back from helping with the mural, I had an email from a school I've sent an application. So, this may be my last year.

lessons

The weather is cooperating with my spring break. It's absolutely gorgeous, and I'm sunburned. I'm in Richmond, VA, staying with my sister. I've been doing a lot of running and walking in the historic parts. This morning I wandered around Hollywood Cemetary where three presidents and Jefferson Davis are burried. It's enjoyable to be outside just sitting or standing.

I got a Blackberry on Saturday because my brother broke his phone. There was a buy one get one free deal. Yep. I walked into that one. I can see why they're referred to as crackberries. It's hypnotic all the updates you get. And, I like word mole... a lot. My highest score thus far is 57 with "squirrel". And, I'm trying to find a free, easy to use budget application to use on my phone.

I am supposed to hear from the National Writing Project by the end of this week. I'm nervous and excited. I'm reminding myself that it'll be expensive and a pain in the butt-- so it's not all bad if I don't get accepted. But, it will be awesome.

I learned again how poor I am during a conversation with the CPA who does my taxes. Yowsers, I was going to buy a new laptop, a sewing machine, put an extra thousand towards my student loan and the rest in savings. I'm hilarious with a great imagination. I'll get a lesser version of the laptop I want if I getting into the summer institute and I'm looking for a used sewing machine.

So, I learned the difference between a "deduction" and a "credit" are from said CPA-- that's part of the problem. I thought the interest on student loans functioned as a credit-- nope, it's a deduction.

I really need another job. My position is changing a lot with the smaller budget. It'll take a lot of time but without any worthy gains. I don't want to do it.

I'm trying to introspect, but it's hard to unwind enough to get to the good stuff.

Waiting is a difficult task. It requires a lot of faith and hope in God's goodness and power... and observational skills. I'm concerned He's taking me in a different direction than I'm interested in going. This poverty thinking stinks. But, maintaining an eternal perspective in near impossible-- that's where the Bible and prayer come into play, I presume.

My sister has a lot of fantastic cook books. She's been calling me "the monk" as I copy her recipes ino my recipe book.

prep for spring break

It's surreal that we've made it to Spring Break. I just printed up my grades to sign and hand in to the secretary.

Now I'm off to a 30 minute abs class. I'm not sure my abs are up for 30 minutes of anything, esp. working. We'll see. It's my friends birthday and this is what she wanted to do.

And, I signed up for two 10ks. One is next Saturday-- it's a road race. One is May 22-- it's a trail run at the National Whitewater center. I think I'm ready for 10ks but not quite there for halfs.

Found some awesome vegan recipes. Citrus Basil Lentils.

Heading up to Richmond tomorrow.