interlude on my writing

"I thought you were going to be chatty," the guy admitted, "But, it's okay."

I responded, "I don't really know you."

"But, I thought you were going to talk nonstop from your emails," his accusation continued.

"Well, I was answering specific questions when I wrote," I said.  

I couldn't go into the fact a lot of my verbal energy was tied up processing information about him... and my enthusiasm was waning with each input of information.  I was calculating his voice too high, his word choice juvenile, his vagueness circumspect, and his subject matter vapid.

He then complained that I wasn't laughing at his jokes.  

I was thinking: "Those were jokes?"

I'm relieved to report that I haven't heard from him since.  This was one of my best, most productive, most encouraging exchanges of all time.  This dude made me feel like a writer.  This isn't to dodge his bullet: I am inept on the phone.  But, I think no more than normal.  The unfunny dude was telling me that he really liked my writing.

It's a win-win.  I got encouragement and time to act on it!

Day 3: haHA

When the guy exclaimed "You've got it!" at 2:30 this afternoon, his voice was the sound of relief.  The poor dude was legitimately concerned about my understanding the information.  Good thing I come through in the clutch.

I guess they had the right to be nervous: it took me over twenty minutes to log in the first time.  But, I'm unravelling the logic of the systems and financial concepts.  Let's face it: I'm not afraid to ask questions... or interrupt... or ask the instructor to repeat what he said... or hazard a guess.

Plus, I've found a volunteer position as a safari guide to the greenway.  I took two excursions out today.  My morning excursion was with two guys in the class.  Then, over lunch, I muscled through the gag reflex with speed so that I could explore.  I found a buddy to go with me.  We saw a blue heron land on a tree!  We saw a model posing for a photographer at a waterfall.  We saw braille poems.  And, I got a huge cup of Starbucks so that I'd look alert through the afternoon.

Carpe Diem!  Work hard, play hard, get to know people.  I've got to make this job my own; it's up to me.  I've got to figure out how to make it work.  And, I am.

Day 2: Security questions and a shoe

Today can be summed up with this scene: I'm in the changing room at the Y gearing up for my run, pulling my clothes from my bag:  Top, tights, socks, and a running shoe.  A single shoe.  

This is why I pack important stuff the night before and didn't run.  Exhaustion.

Today's training consisted of only two hours of powerpoint.  This training reminds me of my semester in theology school: the total onslaught of new vocabulary for concepts I've used but without the technical know-how.   My inanely basic questions no-doubt irk the finance majors in the class.  But, everything is brand new to me.  I have a savings account, checking account, IRA, credit card, etc.; however, I haven't thought about them from the industry's standpoint.  It's the difference between reading Genesis on your own as a spiritual story, and then taking a class on it to analyze its structure, historicity, and authorship.

Then after lunch, I received my employee number and now have a computer log-in.  I had to answer my security questions and come up with passwords. Then we actually worked in three of the computer systems that we'll be using on training modules (so not to wreak too much havoc).  I've watched other people use them.  I felt like a monkey mimicking her trainer.

Observing people work has been trickier than I expected.  The first girl I observed was the best.  She was polite, honest, helpful, and methodical.  The next guy seemed impatient and didn't really engage with the members.  He presumed he understood their questions.  He actually said, "She had no idea what she wanted."  He hung up on another member.  The second girl was equally disappointing.

As I think about the position while I observe coworkers and listen to the instructors, I realize that I will have to make this into my job.  I'm still on a job hunt, and I will always be. There will always be some dissonance between the ideal and the reality. I'll have have to decide consciously what my job is every day.  I was drawn to this business because their motto is  "Do the right thing," and I want to follow it.  But, it'll be a lot like my seventh graders following the rules and rising above peer pressure.  I have a choice of who I am in every situation, especially this one.

It is as my uncle responded via email to my last post: "But just for the record, I didn't say dream jobs DON'T exist, I said there's just NOT TOO many out there.  And I still hold onto the hope that we can grow into jobs or use them to springboard into better ones.  Keep the faith!"

training: w1 d1

I arrived 30 minutes early, so I walked to Starbucks.  It opened in 28 minutes.  So, I walked to the greenway tucked under the campus of my company that runs along a sleepy creek.  (I think I'm going to enjoy that feature of the job.)

When I came back, there was a girl waiting outside the door.
Having a few episodes of Sherlock Holmes under my belt, I asked her, "Are you new?"
She said, "Yes."
I asked, "Were you told to be here at 8?"
She said, "Yes."
I said, "Good. I thought maybe I was going crazy."

We looked out at the vast, empty parking lot and the sign on the door that read: "Monday- Friday: 8:30-5:30." It was reassuring that she didn't know where to park, or how long training was or where we were supposed to be either.  We bonded as we laughed.

A two-week-old new hire let us in the building at 8:01.  Then, our boss arrived at 8:30 and told us to sit down at other peoples' desks, which we did while he printed off the paperwork we needed to fill out.

At 9:30, training commenced with a SVP who'd worked for the company for 36 years.  He was entertaining.  There was a powerpoint and lots of talking: first him and then others.  One long powerpoint.  It may have been never ending, and they simply stopped clicking.

They served a catered lunch, which was a pleasant surprise.  I walked over to the Starbucks again, and got a bogo Pumpkin Spice latte with one of the trainers.  It was a solid half-price move that got me through the afternoon of more power points and talking.

We couldn't log onto computers so they sent us up to the call center to listen on calls.  That was fun.

My first impression: I really like the people but not impressed with the organizational skills of the organization.

The highlight of my day came in the form of a text from my uncle.  Background: we'd been talking about this not being my dream job. He said that dream jobs didn't actually exist.  FYI: he thinks dream jobs have a lot in common with unicorns.  So, when I came up for air from the infinite powerpoint and droning, I discovered this text: "Here's my list of dream jobs: Quarterback for a NFL team, lead singer for a world famous rock band, concert pianist, airplane pilot, national sports talk r  adio host, owner of a major league franchise, author of at least two best selling novels, trust fund baby philanthropist."
I responded, "Fast food critic, satirist, sculptor." He responded, "Fast food critic- that's a keeper."  I felt loved and appreciated as I listened to the powerpoint's details.

C'est la vie.  God is good.

running report: week 5

Monday: 4mi
Tuesday: 7mi
Wednesday: 4mi
Thursday: rest
Friday: 7 mi
Saturday: 15 mi
Sunday: Walk (4mi) because the weather is so pretty and I'm so tired.

Total: 37 miles

Getting ready for work.  I'm a little apprehensive about how working and commuting is going to affect my training, but it's a good problem to have.  I'm going to pack running clothes and see what happens.  There's a cold front this week: highs in the 70's and 80's-- woo hoo!

I'm racing next Saturday!  I haven't done a half marathon in almost two years.  We'll see how it goes.  My uncle is going to run the 5k and we're going to go to brunch afterwards.

Right now, I'm not losing weight, but I can tell a difference in my body.  Not losing weight may have something to do with two celebratory dinners that included fillet mignon wrapped in bacon and chocolate desserts.  It's not like I'm logging 100 miles.

job hunt, phase 2

I found a job: full time with benefits.  It even required a college degree. It was frightfully easy and the entire process took less than two weeks.  It feels surreal in a way.  I have no clue why this company and job didn't occur to me before now.  But, it didn't.  I think I may even enjoy it.  At least the first year or so.

I start training Monday at 8a.m.  When I finish training, I'll work Friday-Monday 10am-9pm.  That means I'll have Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

I'm also going to teach a class on (spiritual) journal writing at my church, starting in late October.  I'll have an outlet for teaching.  Things are coming together.  Thanks be to God.

running report: week 4

Awesomeness!

A good week overall: 30.5 miles (should have been 36) totaled plus three hours of strength and conditioning.  All my "running" was on the elliptical due to my hip.  No flare ups.  However, my take away from elliptical is that I need to do at least a level 10, and go more by time then the mileage.  I'm not nearly as fatigued, esp. my legs, after the elliptical as I am after a run.  I try to get my heart rate in the 155-160 range for easy runs and 160-170 range for quick jaunts.  I was pleasantly surprised to find some pep in my step at the end of my long run-- got my heart rate to 172 after over 2 hours of sweating.

Monday: 4 mi
Tuesday: 7 mi
Wednesday: 4mi, 1 hr class Body Pump, 1 hr class Body Vive, whirl pool afterwards
Thursday: Rest
Friday: Rest (should have been 7 miles)
Saturday: 15.5 miles ( 14 were scheduled but I was feeling guilty for skipping a run.
Sunday: Body Pump, Body Flow

Notes:
I need to run harder and longer for my short runs-- do it based on time and heart rate and less on mileage.  Maybe 160 for 36-40 minutes (the four mile runs).

I need to up my weight in Body Pump.

I need to keep a journal of what I'm eating-- I'm eating like a friggin' scavenger.  Not gaining weight, but not losing it either.  It would be nice to my joints for me to lose some weight.

My gu and jelly beans got the job done with fueling during the work out!