When I was in Japan, I realized what a gift running was. It made me happy like few things could. I realized it was kind of a nice thing to be made happy by that. I realized that this past year I've strayed away from things that have been central to my identity either because they're not possible (an exciting social life) or because I feel I don't deserve them (new clothes).
Loneliness is one of the aspects of unemployment that people leave out. And, there's a sense of isolation that goes along with it, esp. since I'm in my thirties and single to boot. Everybody my age is married with kids... or ridiculously fat where I live.
So, I've decided to make a conscious effort to be me. Does that make sense?
I like people.
1. Although I have no kindred spirits in these parts, I do have some kind, dear friends. So, I'm contacting them. I'm going to see Merchant of Venice with one tomorrow night. I'm meeting another for drinks another night.
2. I have my sweet, old ladies who think I'm incredibly young! What's not to love? And, just smiling and saying hi to the other people is uplifting. It makes me feel useful. The absence of care for the elderly is one of my major beefs with the church (not just mine but in general). So, I get to be the change I want to see.
I like to think.
1. I'm really enjoying War and Peace. There's so much to it. It's well-written with keen insights on the human condition. Oddly, literature eliminates loneliness. I feel recognized.
2. Listening to deeply insightful lectures that provide new ways of framing my life. John's Gospel: Exercises in Spiritual Theology for a PostModern World by James Houston. Houston is wise; his lectures are full of his cleverness and gentleness. His ideas are extremely energizing, satisfying and comforting.
I like to run.
I'm training for a marathon... but my hip is hurting so I'm taking a few days off.
These are little parts of my uniqueness that add up to me. Not one of them is glamorous, but that's okay.
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