Who Am I?

I am under 45 years old,
I love the outdoors,
I hunt,
I am a Republican reformer,
I have taken on the Republican Party establishment,
I have many children,
I have a spot on the national ticket as vice president with less
than two years in the governor's office.
Did you guess?







I am Teddy Roosevelt in 1900

old school

I memorized the Children's Catechism before I could read. Actually, I memorized the catechism by eavesdropping on my mom drilling my older sister. One day after my sister missed an answer, I piped up, "I know it." Mom said, "Honey, you can't know it." Then, I spurted it out, turning my mom into a believer. (This kind of trickle-down education is one of the joys of being a second born.) So, with my mom practicing some with me, I passed the test at church along with my sister. We also had weekly memory verses in Sunday School. And, the two years we went to a Christian School we had to memorize a chapter a month; we stuck to the jazzy ones (I Corinthians 13, Psalm 23, etc).

So, now that I've been to seminary and studied Bible with an academic lens and studied the many theologies and approaches to Scripture, including Lectio. I'm back at the beginning in a TS Eliot "Four Quartets" sort of a way: I'm memorizing Scripture verse by verse. This time round it feels more mystical and less like exercise-- the memorization feels like I'm building some sort of multi-dimensional architecture involving my mind, heart, soul, strength, will, and behavior. It's bizarre how a verse pops to mind now that I'm doing it.

The three verses I'm working on are: "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in the form of heaven above or the earth beneath or the waters below. You shall not bow down and worship them." Ex. 20:4-5a. (This one is so lyrical-- lilting. But, I find the second part jolting-- if you can't make it, of course you can't bow down and worship it. It's as if God's building in a plan b (when you make an idol)-- it's as if he's worked with seventh graders.)

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." Galatians 6:7. (This one's compact but has enough ideas to keep a person coming back. The juxtaposition fascinates me. Powerful verbs. Two statements in the negative followed by the positive, straight-forward statement.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8. Just started on this one, but I picked it instead of more of the ten commandments. We shall see.

meme

>
> 1. What time did you get up this morning? 4:45
>
> 2. Diamonds or pearl? pearls
>
> 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Dark
> Knight
>
> 4. What is your favorite TV show? what not to wear and jeopardy
>
> 5. What do you usually have for breakfast? oatmeal or cheese toast or peanut butter toast
>
> 7. What food do you dislike? organs
>
> 8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? mat kearney!!!
>
> 9. What kind of car do you drive? '93 corolla
>
> 10. Favorite sandwich? tomato
>
> 11. What characteristics do you despise? chosen ignorance
>
> 12. Favorite item of clothing? my high-waisted jeans
>
> 13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation,
> where would you go? galapagos islands on a small yacht
>
> 14. Are you an organized person? no, yet I'm anal
>
> 15. Where would you retire to? Vancouver or Key Biscane (sp?)
>
> 16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? 28th-- i spent it by myself in japan
>
> 17. What are you going to do when you finish this? bed
>
> 18. Furthest place you are sending this? 25 miles, but there is a gas shortage
>
> 19. Person you expect to send it back first? ??????
>
> 20. When is your birthday? May 2
>
> 21. Morning person or a night person? depends
>
> 22. What is your shoe size? 10
>
> 23. Pets? house plants
>
> 24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with
> us? I'm contemplating a whine fast
>
> 25. What did you want to be when you were little? a smoker
>
> 26. How are you today? okay
>
> 27. What is your favorite flower? stargazer lilly

> 28. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward
> to? right now, nov. 1st. friends grad party in dc

> 29. What are you listening to right now? kitchen clock ticking, fingers typing, computer humming, chest breathing
>
> 31. Do you wish on stars? falling ones (quick, outrageous wishes)
>
> 32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? tangerine
>
> 33. How is the weather right now? dark
>
> 34. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Susan Morris
>
> 35. Favorite soft drink? sprite zero and sundrop
>
> 36. Favorite restaurant? depends
>
> 37. Hair color? "dark blonde"
>
> 38. What was your favorite toy as a child? i had a white mouse that squeeked and a pale blue elephant that when wound up played twinkle, twinkle
>
> 39. Summer or Winter? fall
>
> 41. Chocolate or Vanilla? dark chocolate
>
> 42. Coffee or tea? french roast and chamomile (sp?)
>
> 43. Do you want your friends to email you back? Yes
>
> 44. When was the last time you cried? yesterday as the climax to my i-hate-my-life tantrum... who says tantrums are for 3 year olds
>
>
> 45. What is under your bed? stuff in plastic boxes
>
> 46. What did you do last night? work and go to bed at 8:30
>
> 48. Salty or sweet? Both, but if I had to pick one - sweet-- ditto
>
>
> 49. How many keys on your key ring? too many (5 or so-- car, house, classroom, T's apt, storage in classroom)
>
> 50. How many years at your current job? 6 weeks
>
> 51. Favorite day of the week? Friday evening
>
> 52. Do you make friends easily? depends on the person. generally, instant or not at all. perhaps, i'm too sure of my opinion.
>
> 53. How many people will you send this to? 2 + blog
>
> 54. How many will respond? 1ish
>
> 55. Do you like finding out all this stuff about your
> friends? YES
>

shocking

I got up at 4:45 am today... and it felt completely normal. Of course, I was ready for bed starting at 8pm tonight. I need a life or even a good book to escape into.

Work is overwhelming, but I had a very satisfying commute both ways.

I heard a great quotation today: "All bigots and tyrants have a good side." The analogy was made:
Jeremiah Wright/Farakan et al:Obama::David Duke (KKK):Bush.
It's okay for Obama to befriend black racists but not for Bush to befriend white racists. This raises a lot of important questions about power constructs and perspective, et cetera.

antics

Call me Grasshopper; I have so much to learn. I'm overwhelmed. The piled paperwork feels like metasticizing cancer; I need administrative hospice. But, my teammate helped me get my rosters on NCWise so I started entering all my grades into the behemoth state-wide system. It's very big brother. I had to adjust my grades because I think on a ten-point scale (90-100 is an A, 80-89 B, etc). The official system is a 7-point scale, which is a bit of a joke, considering that about a third of my class made below 35% percentile in 6th grade and got passed to 7th. If the grading scale reflected the End of Grade test grading a 75 would be an A. Hell, I have a kid who made 7th percentile in 6th grade. Waawaawaa. So, it feels like a bit of sham to even grade when the students pass no matter what.

After school, I met my mom to give blood. The Red Cross was having a Blood drive at my mom's church. We're prepared to grace the world with our A+ blood. I had a really high hemaglobin count. My blood pressure was fabulous. I'm a horse. Anyway, while Twonda was prepping my right arm and me for the pint, I watch one of the Red Cross guys wheeling this woman over from the screening area over to the recovery area. Twonda says, "I've never seen someone pass out before giving blood." I laugh because it's my mom and tell Twonda this. She asks me if she were sick before coming. I said, "Nah, she just has a vivid imagination." I went over and checked on her. I wasn't much help, considering I was laughing. Call me Nurse Ratchet the Grasshopper.

After I wrapped up giving blood, I join Mom at the snacks table. I catch the tail of her melodramatic explanation about the metallic smell reminescent of a hospital. People listened politely while nibbling on nabs, but I said, "Are you serious?' She was. Maybe, it was the iodine and the flourescent lights. With this shennanigan under her belt, she has lost the right to tease me about my drama-queen antics.

Resentment

Today went far better than I expected. I barely even yelled at my last block. I just had an impressive array of names and checks on the board. I created a new seating chart. I said it was non-negotiable, and by "non-negotiable" i meant mostly non-negotiable. I actually got to teach inbetween writing names on the board and checking homework at their desks. The eighth of the class that's interested in what I'm teaching had the option of paying attention.

I'm also coming to grips with the unquantifiable chemistry in a class. Some people and ideas come naturally to me, and some don't. Every kid isn't going to like me. I'm drawn to the awkward misfits ("awkard" is a little redundant in this case). They quicken both my inner compassion and delight. They're wide-open in a gangly fashion.

I compiled another power point. I locked horns with this gate keeper at UrgentCare over my TB reading. I really want to have one day where I work less than 12 hours. Really, who doesn't?

Oh, and I memorized my bible verse for Wednesday. Ha. "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything from the heavens above the earth below or the waters beneath. You shall not bow down and worship them." Ex. 20:4-5a. It reminded me of disciplining my 7th graders-- you've got to have imagination regarding setting rules-- what could go wrong.

grading my social studies tests

So, I'm a little disappointed with my students' recall. Maybe I really am just talking to myself when I'm at my podium. About half way through my first class's tests, I came upon this: "Geography is the study of the earth and its feathers." I might give extra credit for that answer.

me... a busy bee?

I discovered lots of cool stuff this afternoon when I cleaned out my car. It was quite the undertaking, but proved worth the effort. Found: Matt Kearney CD and some stuff that a person shouldn't admit to having lost. Matt Kearney croons as I type. Now if he'd just rub my shoulders when we finish our respective masterpieces.

After six weeks on the job, I finally got my pre-employment medical screening today at an Urgent Care. I swear I started feeling sick after the TB test. Is it just my stellar imagination overly engaged in paranoia? Or, is it that I'll be the first person to die from a TB test and become immortal in medical texts? Stay tuned.

And, I compiled a power point presentation on Figurative Language for my little urchins. And, I've been coming up with ways to deal with behavior problems that I've let get out of hand (come back, days of staying seated and obeying my every command and zero sass). I'm going out on a limb and going to try some positive reinforcement. Crazy stuff, indeed. And, alphabetized all the papers I need to record in my gradebook. Interims go out next week. I'm very excited about extra paper work to add to my multiple helpings of other paperwork. Yippee yi yae.

I received an email Friday that my paperwork for LE was incomplete. Apparently, I filled out the wrong forms or faxed the wrong forms or screwed up something somehow. I get to chat with the head of HR next week. It's good to be me. I don't think they can fire me, but I do know they're terribly fond of their paper work.

I laundered multiple loads of clothes and cleaned my bathroom. I must be sick; there's no explaining the unexplicable.

I enjoyed a lovely ladies luncheon with my very fun neighbor. We have too much fun together. I really like that I don't know her phone number because I ring her doorbell instead.

Dude, I even did errands today. I took a load of generosity to Goodwill and spent my gift certificate given by my Faculty Friend nearby.

I listened to no NPR, but I did go to the library where I came upon more Kate DiCamillo books. I'm tempted to compare her with Katherine Patterson; this is a big deal, friends. Seriously, you should add Tale of Despereaux to your reading queue. And, The Rising Tiger is awesome. They're chocolate-covered profundity.

Even with this portrait of productivity, I managed to not cross off much from my TDL. I sidestepped the urgent. These are the shennanigans I pull that stress me out. Grace, grace, grace. Peace, peace, peace.

update

There's not much excitement to report. Shocking, I know. I went to a workshop on software this morning and missed my planning period again. My planning period is fair game for all bureaucratic crap. Take, dispose of my time and sanity.

I had a great writer's group with M. 4 absent monkeys don't stop the show I'll have you know. And, I had a great chat with my other M. We chatted shoes, jobs, money, meaning of life and God's faithfulness.

I think I might have found a church to call home. Must be hesitant, but excited. We're talking Nicene Creed, Lord's Prayer, winsome expository preaching, people who brought their Bibles, Scripture reading, people who greeted me graciously that weren't "greeters", Prayer for the People, Prayer of Confession, Communion, old people, kids. We sang "Come Thou Font" and "Immortal, Invisible" instead of David Crowder and Coldplay covers. Not talk about prayer but actual prayer. Seriously, I sat by an African who gave me his bulletin because I had somehow bypassed them. My yellow flag is that there were few people my age single. But, I guess, that's pretty true about most churches.

And, I went to a McDonald's grand opening on Thursday night. I was already for some chicken supremes. But, the grand opening was catered; that's hilarious. The food was awesome. There was a live band that was good. And, we got to tour the new store. The machine's technology was insane. I chatted with a local politician that seemed authentic-- a black female Republican. She rocked.

I had an amazing long run Saturday morning that left me in a coma for the rest of day.

I started a good book, "The Lemur". It's an Irish author. I'll let you know.

My job: chaos.

ज्क्फ्ल्स्द;फजा क्ज्फ्क्ल्स्द;जफा क्ल्स्द्फ्जा; क्ज्स्द्फा

So my title is in Arabic, I guess. That's how you know I'm typing from school. I'll use this as reflection to gather speed for the work ahead of me. Some things went well. My first LA and my second SS went quite well.

There are a lot of whiners in my last class. Geez. Do some teachers actually capitulate when students whine? That wouldn't be a good lesson. That's not the one I'm teaching.

I definitely could have run my last class more effectively. When kids whine, I should ignore them or write their name on the board. I need to cut my instruction time down-- it's simply too much for most of them. And, I need to come up with a set amount of time for each segment of my class and stick with it. And, apparently I need to give vocabulary and tests to them. I've been focusing on grammar and reading.

I three meetings today: one before school and two during my planning.

Man. Must grade papers and plan.

good stuff

The rest of this week I'm going to teach the best story: Borden Deal's "Anteus". It's beautiful and poignant... whistful and honest. Ahh, my eccentricities are sure to introduce themselves to my classes in the case they haven't been already. Ah, this teaching business is humbling. I mistaught two things already. I rock. I'll just go in and edit myself. I just plead that I haven't had English grammar in over ten years-- that counts. I'll point out the need to argue points.

I had a fabulous run today. I did a speed workout and kicked the butt of the guy next to me, which is reward in itself. I'm now tired.

Today went better than Friday. But, I need to work out the kinks. I need to be rational and curious. I need to remind myself not to take things personally but to laugh at myself and my kids. I need to be painfully clear to them about my expectations.

I know what I'm going to do this week for my class. I also need to start organizing-- maybe dedicate thirty minutes a day so that it won't be so overwhelming.

I had a great chat with M. It's always so good and refreshing to catch up with her.

my weekend that was unrelated to work

On Friday night, I got a diffuser attachment at Sally's after convincing about four women in the hair appliance aisle at WalMart that I'd driven past where Sally's had been located and it was gone. No doubt they walked out of the building, glanced to their right and realized that I'm a total dingbat. Good thing that they're total strangers. Then, I came home and had a meltdown. The Chief reassurred me that it would get better in about six months; that rally speech was encouraging. I then headed over to the Y and had an excellent run. I felt so much lighter afterwards.

On Saturday, I woke up at 4:30 and FBed some people Happy Birthdays and wrote a to do list. Then, I went back to bed. I got up and proceeded to drink coffee, listen to NPR and "meditate" on nothing in particular. "Meditate" sounds much better than "sit dazed". Then I prepped for the talk about spiritual direction that I gave later that day. It was closer to a "brain drain" than say "an organized lecture". But, maybe somebody got something out of it. It was so cool to be up front and not have to hush anybody or write names on the board or refuse somebody the right to go to the water fountain.

Then I went to the Greek Festival with H. We had a great time catching up. It was so nice to spend time with her: we chatted about sewing, small groups, work, goals, her triathalon, my marathon, my jeans (I obsessed a bit just because I was excited), boys. We chuckled at the Paper Skyscraper. We had a good time.

Today I tried out the Anglican Church and my hair diffuser. Because of the diffuser and my lack of early morning pluck I was fifteen minutes late, but it was a long service. I sat between two very hospitable people: A from Ghana gave me his bulletin which I missed and L explained the history of the church and communicated that the pastor was an itenerant. I recognized the youth pastor from Regent. I think I freaked him out a teensy bit because he didn't place me.

Afterwards, I went to earthfare to gobble down lunch and do some work. Lo and behold, there was live music and free wifi in the cafe starting at 11 am or so. Rock on.

Then I got some organizational supplies from SpaceSavers, but I took to long deciding because I was late to my writing group. It was good to see the ladies. And the time writing proved fruitful because I came up with the Reagan-esque phrase: "trickle-down education".

Since coming home I've run, meditated/journaled (for real this time) and planned for next week.

yowsers

It's 5:30. I'm at school, and I have enough work to keep me here until 10pm at least. But, my mentor suggests that I leave by 6pm no matter what. Eleven hours at work is long enough.

I spent over an hour calling parents, and I reached fewer than half. My brilliant lessons and insights are getting replaced by discipline. I wish my classes were smaller. If my classes were half the size-- say 15 kids-- we could explore so much material and climb up the ladder of critical thinking. But, I'm busy hushing kids. I need to teach in private school.

I feel as if I am carrying out the tennets of classroom management. I assign seats. I have work for them to do-- not busy work, but legitimate work. I'm patrolling and moving around constantly. Yet, swear to God, there's tons of chatter... and some of the boys get up out of their seats and are in a different quadrant than assigned. I design group work because 7th graders are about as social as humans come. But, perhaps, that's a reason not to have them engage in group work.

I know pedagogy is learner-centered not teacher-centered. But, this model requires a degree of motivation from the students side. I hate it for my intelligent, hardworking students. I think I'm going to meet their needs by scheduling enrichment classes after school or during lunch. I'm not sacrificing the smart, motivated kids to placate the half-assed. On the whole, my kids are great, but I cannot manage 31 of them without some help. Hence, the phonecalls to parents. There are going to be some missed ballgames.

Ah, I need to rest this weekend-- and create a killer seating chart.

the edge

Thank God it was Tuesday all day. I would have ended up jaded if it were a Monday. I'm growing fond of my students. Seventh grade is nothing if not melodrama. Take any afterschool special and inject steroids... voila, you've got middle school. The kid who b*&^%ed me out Friday hugged me today and told me how beautiful she looked with her new highlights. She then said, "I love you" then flitted off to Spanish or Art. Her highlights did look good. With several of my students I feel like I'm walking up to a wild horse with a handful of carrots. They're amazing and skittish and I want to help.

My grammar lesson went much better today because I scaled back about ten-fold. We found the verb. Then we asked "who or what ____?" (spanked, came, were). Of course, there still be dragons in the land of modifiers. But, we tame beasts one at a time on my shift. I'm training pragmatists.

The chief's mantra: "Less is more." After I go into mind-numbing detail about the concept and activities I've planned for a class, the chief simply says, "Remember: less is more."

I had a stand off with the insurance rep. I signed up for flex medical spending, but opted out of the other insurances. She was doing a hard sell. She told me I was taking a "gigantic risk". I told her "call me Eavil Kaneevil. I like living on the edge." She didn't beg me to stay around for more chitchat.

I should have known it would be a wackadoodle day when I spied a guy driving a jeep while smoking a Sherlock Holmes inspired pipe. Twas a bit curly. Cue the crazy.

grace is good

Aahh, I feel close to rested. I'm connecting to non-job parts of me. I chatted with people about mythology and theology today. I chatted with new friends who graciously accepted my mad cap version of a meal and without a flinch. And, I chatted with old friends. Said friend dared to call me "hard-headed" when I related a recent story of woe. I told him, "Mr. Kettle, meet Ms. Pot." Not proving his point or anything. This is the same friend who has said, "I'm going to say something, then there will be a 60-second silence before you respond."

Geez, sometimes it's amazing I have any friends. My friends are a hearty breed: stout-hearted and thick-skinned. They're keepers, esp. when they have the gall to point out a flaw in a humorous way. (haha, that slant rhyme is almost as good as Dr. Seuss. Or better in a different way.)

I don't feel uber-prepared for tomorrow. That is to say, I don't have an extra hour of programming if a just in case scenario arises. But, I did run this weekend. I did come up with a seating chart and plans. And, this whole gig is flexing my prayer muscles.

I need to figure out good homework for my kids: short, sweet and relevant. I need to have a reading log on a bright piece of paper that I check weekly that is signed daily. Will work on it.