Monday, March 14, 2011
wanted: flexibility
I heard back from the SAT prep cram school; they found "a more flexible teacher". When I texted my sister this news, she responded, "So the other person does more yoga?!" Probably that and doesn't have a full-time job. So I'm bummed but moving on.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
ACC Tournament
I love college basketball. It's about the only sport I get excited about being a spectator. On occasion, there's a good football game. Baseball and hockey games are fun to attend. But, college basketball is so much fun! The ACC tournament wasn't pretty, but it was exciting. UNC lost in the final by a lot (17 points), but it's okay because the past two times we've lost in the final we went on to win the NCAA tournament. Woohoo! We're a really young team with a sick amount of raw talent, but we play messy.
UNC's first two games were studies in double digit comebacks. I was struck by how evident momentum is in a game, and how it shifts from team to team. It seemed like a metaphor for life. It's beautiful when it's your team that goes on a 12-0 streak, but it's infuriating when it's the other way around. Sometimes everything is going the way you want it to, and there are other times when you get stopped by all eight stoplights. There are bad calls. But, a player has to stay in the game. A commentator said he liked how Harrison Barnes was willing himself into the game. I need to talk to my students about this "willing himself into the game", and I need to remind myself of it too in my job search and life in general. I stopped running because I was sick, but now I've got to make up the lost time and get myself back to where I was.
As for the job search, I was really struck by this passage when reading Hebrews this morning, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross.... Consider him... so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." In this, there's a since of order, but it seems like Jesus as author has a very different perspective on my life than I do. There's an awful lot of references to the cross and suffering and perseverance; it's enough to make a believer a little nervous. But, maybe it's like UNC basketball, it's okay to lose the conference championship because it spurs you on to win the National.
UNC's first two games were studies in double digit comebacks. I was struck by how evident momentum is in a game, and how it shifts from team to team. It seemed like a metaphor for life. It's beautiful when it's your team that goes on a 12-0 streak, but it's infuriating when it's the other way around. Sometimes everything is going the way you want it to, and there are other times when you get stopped by all eight stoplights. There are bad calls. But, a player has to stay in the game. A commentator said he liked how Harrison Barnes was willing himself into the game. I need to talk to my students about this "willing himself into the game", and I need to remind myself of it too in my job search and life in general. I stopped running because I was sick, but now I've got to make up the lost time and get myself back to where I was.
As for the job search, I was really struck by this passage when reading Hebrews this morning, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross.... Consider him... so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." In this, there's a since of order, but it seems like Jesus as author has a very different perspective on my life than I do. There's an awful lot of references to the cross and suffering and perseverance; it's enough to make a believer a little nervous. But, maybe it's like UNC basketball, it's okay to lose the conference championship because it spurs you on to win the National.
Friday, March 11, 2011
24/7
Do you know the Monty Python scene where the guy says:“There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount”? This quotation came to mind this afternoon when a friend and I went to the 24/7 Prayer Room and it was locked. Not only was it locked, it had hours posted "Monday-Friday 10-9pm" to add to the irony. I told my friend, "Never assume. You've always got to read the fine print." She reminded me that things always work out, and she was right.
We ended up hanging out and praying in the Free Store in Area 15. The huge room had a ramp that had interesting, creative characters in fedoras and other "I'm cool" accoutrements walking up and down it one at a time. Earth-toned painted stripes ran down the walls. We nested in comfy chairs in the second-hand store. We were in the heart of funky. It felt adventurous and practical all wrapped up in the same box. As we conversed, we eventually realized that artsy types don't boot you out for squatting. It wasn't the hours of transforming prayer I was hoping for; then again, there were no lit candles in the vicinity.
My friend prayed Psalm 51 out in the car (clearly she knows me). Then she gave me James 4:13-17 in conversation. Well actually, James 4:17: "Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin." And, she coupled it with Hebrews 12:14: "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy..."
I needed these verses. The James verse is basically talking about living in the present and living in obediently now. I'm so caught up in finding a job that will allow me to use (or maybe discover) my talents. Nope. It's need to be right now in the most unglamorous of settings, the 7th grade classroom in a rural setting. God's not waiting for perfect circumstances.
The second verse is pretty strong with "all men." Apparently, God wants me to live peaceably with the incompetent people with whom I work, the annoying drivers that cut me off, and students who go, "blah, blah, blah" while I talk. I get the feeling God wants me to take myself way less seriously and get one fantastic sense of humor. That said, I still don't think the author of Hebrews uses "all" in the tongue-in-cheek manner of Monty Python's "none".
We ended up hanging out and praying in the Free Store in Area 15. The huge room had a ramp that had interesting, creative characters in fedoras and other "I'm cool" accoutrements walking up and down it one at a time. Earth-toned painted stripes ran down the walls. We nested in comfy chairs in the second-hand store. We were in the heart of funky. It felt adventurous and practical all wrapped up in the same box. As we conversed, we eventually realized that artsy types don't boot you out for squatting. It wasn't the hours of transforming prayer I was hoping for; then again, there were no lit candles in the vicinity.
My friend prayed Psalm 51 out in the car (clearly she knows me). Then she gave me James 4:13-17 in conversation. Well actually, James 4:17: "Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin." And, she coupled it with Hebrews 12:14: "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy..."
I needed these verses. The James verse is basically talking about living in the present and living in obediently now. I'm so caught up in finding a job that will allow me to use (or maybe discover) my talents. Nope. It's need to be right now in the most unglamorous of settings, the 7th grade classroom in a rural setting. God's not waiting for perfect circumstances.
The second verse is pretty strong with "all men." Apparently, God wants me to live peaceably with the incompetent people with whom I work, the annoying drivers that cut me off, and students who go, "blah, blah, blah" while I talk. I get the feeling God wants me to take myself way less seriously and get one fantastic sense of humor. That said, I still don't think the author of Hebrews uses "all" in the tongue-in-cheek manner of Monty Python's "none".
Thursday, March 10, 2011
illness and the drama queen
So last week, I was pretty sure I had a serious case of pneumonia because my lungs hurt. Turns out I had a serious case of overactive imagination. The previous week my sister had gone to a funeral for one of her coworkers who'd died of complications with pneumonia at the age of 41. He wasn't HIV positive or old, which is who I think of dying of pneumonia. So, naturally, my acute bronchitis turned into a fatal case of pneumonia.
My doctor told me to get over myself in a very tactful way. He laughed at me twice. (Well, it was a good-natured chuckle.) It was what I needed to hear. I felt so much better the next day when I realized I wasn't going to die next month... it was a real weight off.
Now I'm getting back into running after a 3-4 week hiatus. Ouch. And, I did about 20 minutes of yoga. My pathetic little muscles were quivering with fatigue from stretching. I'm giving myself two weeks to get back into the swings. I'm back on my vitamins and everything.
My doctor told me to get over myself in a very tactful way. He laughed at me twice. (Well, it was a good-natured chuckle.) It was what I needed to hear. I felt so much better the next day when I realized I wasn't going to die next month... it was a real weight off.
Now I'm getting back into running after a 3-4 week hiatus. Ouch. And, I did about 20 minutes of yoga. My pathetic little muscles were quivering with fatigue from stretching. I'm giving myself two weeks to get back into the swings. I'm back on my vitamins and everything.
it's been a while, crocodile
I gave up FaceBook and soda for Lent. The FaceBook is going to be hard, but that's good. Technology is addictive in an unhealthy way. You're thinking "unhealthy" is redundant, but exercise is addictive too... in a healthy way. Plus, researchers say our diet makes us more natural addicts (this is according to my sister. I think she heard it on NPR).
It's also going to free up time. Eating represents very little time for me. I scarf down my meals because I'm in a hurry to do something else. At times, I make an effort to be civilized and actually set the table and drink wine with dinner. It feels both silly and delightful. I do enjoy food more when I slow down and am with someone.
I'm praying for direction in my job search and for some specific people who are also in transition. When a bishop was praying over me, he asked what the desire of my heart. It was incredibly intense. I realized I don't know the desire of my heart. That region is murky and unchartered. I'm afraid to really think about such things, I think. How worried I am about finding a job and my lack of self-knowledge demonstrate how teensy-weensy my faith is.
I'm reading Joel and TBD. I'm excited for Lent. It's such a time of authenticity. It's a time truly to look at one's frailty and mortality. I am not invincible. My sense of my own natural goodness is a joke. Yesterday, the art teacher told me I was judgmental, and I agreed with him. It's not a time for self-agrandizement. I have crooked, broken heart; it's part of being human. But, it's all in the context of Jesus' cross and resurrection.
We'll see how I do. This is going to be a much different Lent from last year when I did the Daniel Fast. I'm looking forward to Lent. There's something to be said for looking at the dark side of the moon. This week, a student said, "Blah, blah, blah," while I was talking about unions and the communist riot that happened in our county. I sometimes feel that way when it comes to grace and Jesus.
It's also going to free up time. Eating represents very little time for me. I scarf down my meals because I'm in a hurry to do something else. At times, I make an effort to be civilized and actually set the table and drink wine with dinner. It feels both silly and delightful. I do enjoy food more when I slow down and am with someone.
I'm praying for direction in my job search and for some specific people who are also in transition. When a bishop was praying over me, he asked what the desire of my heart. It was incredibly intense. I realized I don't know the desire of my heart. That region is murky and unchartered. I'm afraid to really think about such things, I think. How worried I am about finding a job and my lack of self-knowledge demonstrate how teensy-weensy my faith is.
I'm reading Joel and TBD. I'm excited for Lent. It's such a time of authenticity. It's a time truly to look at one's frailty and mortality. I am not invincible. My sense of my own natural goodness is a joke. Yesterday, the art teacher told me I was judgmental, and I agreed with him. It's not a time for self-agrandizement. I have crooked, broken heart; it's part of being human. But, it's all in the context of Jesus' cross and resurrection.
We'll see how I do. This is going to be a much different Lent from last year when I did the Daniel Fast. I'm looking forward to Lent. There's something to be said for looking at the dark side of the moon. This week, a student said, "Blah, blah, blah," while I was talking about unions and the communist riot that happened in our county. I sometimes feel that way when it comes to grace and Jesus.
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