Have Fun!

My family's sign off is: "Have fun!"  It's true whether you're heading to the grocery store, work, workout, etc.  In situations when most people would say "bye" or "love you", we say, "Have fun!"  It's been true since I was little-- when we'd go to school or dance class or girl scouts.

It's our form or "Carpe diem".  Fun is a choice because it comes down to attitude.  These past couple of days I've been having fun despite some challenging circumstances.  Yesterday I told must of made up twenty jokes, and at least half of them were funny.  A couple of them were hilarious.

I've decided to be a good, hard-working pet monkey that doesn't get frustrated when she forgets her tricks half way through the routine.

Today, I had a lovely surprise.  A friend was in town for the weekend for a family wedding.  He called me and we had lunch.  It gets better: Ethiopian.  Then, I trained with a self-proclaimed slacker.  Then, I went out to dinner, watched the Curve movie, and went out for wine afterwards.  It was a lovely day because I had fun.

pet monkey learns new tricks: week 3 of new job

This week I've started to become frustrated with myself and training.  It all feels so cumbersome and takes me forever and ever.  I forget whether to key lnsc, lnai, or lnhi before I can key lnlc.  It reminds of Greek 1 but with a live audience.

There are all these DOS commands and banking lingo to digest and use.  I've felt like stating more than once, "I'm not retarded, I'm confused."  The trainer that came from headquarters is ridiculous and contributes .  Right before he gave us a break, he said, "It'll be a quick ten-minute break. You can use the bathroom, stretch your legs, get some water."  I thanked him for the pointers.  And I couldn't help myself when he said, "A person's geological location doesn't matter."  I asked, "Do you mean geographical?"

But, my real beef with trainer guy can be summed up with this exchange.  I'd just finished a "fake call" with a "woman" who had nonsufficient funds (that's what they call it-- not "insufficient") in her account.  I concluded the phone call with "Have a great day."  Just after I said it, I realized I'd probably be pissed if someone said that to me.  So I asked, "Am I being a smart ass to say 'Have a great day' when it's pretty obvious the woman isn't?"  He said, "It was professional and that I had no right to judge the members."  I realized we definitely have a communication disconnect.

And, I feel a little bullied by two of the girls.  However, that's one of the nice things about being 10 years older.  I feel mostly amused and slightly irritated about their rudeness.  But, I do have my kindred spirit.  He eats the free lunches too.  And, I knew we'd get along when he nodded off during the post lunch training.  Plus, he's having car trouble.  And, he doesn't intuit the 8 new programs we have to navigate.  He even gets aggravated.

At one break in which I hadn't received instructions on how to properly use it, I was watching some of the tax class guys mill about outside our room.  They were wearing maroon, royal blue, and charcoal gray shirts with dorky ties.  I told my ks, "I know you're too shy to ask me opinion on men's fashion, so, I'll tell you.  I hate dark shirts.  They remind me of Miami Vice and the mafia.  Not that I'd think less of you if you wore one."

He responded, "What do you have against the mafia?"

I told him, "I prefer my crime disorganized."

more tuition

remarkably similar to my car-- even the right color!

6:57 am last Friday my car would not start.  Absolutely nothing.  Since It was my 10th day on the job, I didn't have a lot of wiggle room about being late let alone not showing.  My mind raced.  This had never happened to me, which is kind of nice considering I have a 1993 Corolla wagon with over 295,000 miles.

On Wednesday, my plumber neighbor warned me that my break lights were turning on and off at will, and that would eventually drain my battery.  I didn't really worry about it because the lights didn't seem to stay on very long.  I usually give myself a couple weeks of leeway with car problems.

Big mistake.

My mom loaned me her car to get me out of the pickle... AND took my car to the mechanic.  Friday night and $80 later, I had my car back.

Sunday morning came as did weird noises and a hesitant start.  Then, I stopped at Food Lion to pick up a bag of Cheetos before church because I was running early.  When I came out, my car wouldn't start.  The lady loading her minivan with groceries called her husband to figure out how to help me.  Then, this guy in a teal Chevy pickup truck came around and the guy jumped my car's battery.  I decided to risk going to church.  My car cranked after some sputtering.  Mom told me to take her car to work Monday.  I found out Monday night the car didn't start for her.  She had to take my car to the mechanic again.  This time he replaced the battery.  He didn't charge her and gave her his business card, haven written his cell number on the back in case we had more trouble.

The car has been on its best behavior ever since.  I went by the mechanic's and shelled out $90 today because the battery worked.  He had gotten the part from Toyota and put it on for me.

It made me realize how much I take for granted.  And, I realized how the past couple of years have changed me.  I'm glad that my car wouldn't start instead of breaking down while driving.  I'm really glad my mom was so close to bail me out with her car.  And, the $170 was expensive with the thin margins I'm running, but it's still a far better deal than a car payment.

And, my car is a puny need in the big picture.  I have friends who are struggling through much more trying trials.  Faith and hope are a far more rugged workout than I imagined.  You come out different.

Here's a FB status from a friend that celebrates the beauty of normal:

You know, I'd never thought about it before all this happened, but even a simple task like taking a shower requires a lot of balance and strength. I couldn't even step INTO the shower for several months. Now I've gotten the showering routine back down to about 20 minutes. Small things, but it's a lot of progress from where I was!

One of her friend's responded: I feel you! I got excited to be able to cut my toenails today!

Praise God for cars that start, the ability to shower and cut toe nails, baking sugar cookies, basking in sunshine!

dream update

I want to go on a really long hike in the mountains when the leaves turn next month. And pick some apples.

I want to get certified in scuba diving.

I want a camera so I can take pictures of the awesomeness I come across, whether a tree or a sign or a person.  Seriously, if you could see the oak tree outside the window on the 4th floor, you'd be jealous of my job.

I want to wear high heels with a dress to work and feel sophisticated.

I want to run 8 miles tomorrow and 12 on Saturday.  Booyah.

I want to memorize more bible verses to keep me company when bad thoughts lurk.

I want to hang out with a friend and laugh until we cry.

I want to become really good with money.  Have a very healthy relationship with it.

all's well

A good report all around.

Work is going well. I feel like I'm catching on, building some cognitive and relational momentum. Heck, I'm even enjoying dressing up.  I'm trying to decide what purchases to make because this is a far fancier job than teaching.  I've come to a reasonable compromise with the traffic: I leave at 7am and arrive to work at 7:30 and do my devotion in my car.  And, I beat the traffic home by stopping at the Y on the way home and doing my 5 or 7 miles and maybe a class.  So, it's a little longer, but flexibility makes it far more enjoyable.

I didn't run after work but went to church instead.  It was on "Hallowed by thy name."  It hit a nerve... in a good way.  It was a reminder of my constant need to get reoriented to Reality.  God's bigger and stronger than any of the problems whether a political election or unemployment.

The icing on the cake: really phenomenal conversations with dear friends.  One on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  I felt loved, grounded and encouraged by the words and the relationships.

gettin' her done

I left the house at 6:59 am and arrived just before 8pm ready for a shower and dinner. How things have changed.  I don't have as much time to ponder the meaning of life... and that's a good thing.  My hand is being forced in what my priorities are.  I feel there's been a fundamental shift somewhere deep inside of me.  I can't even verbalize it.  But, it's present in my attitude towards money, singleness, people, time, and God.  Humility coupled with a deep sense of responsibility, which sounds contradictory on the surface.

I was thinking about and praying about a second job, and I got a bite on a possible ESL gig nearby.  That would be cool.

I ran five miles on the elliptical and did Body Pump after work.  Traffic was terrible so I just got off at the Y 5 exit before mine and worked out in lieu of sitting in traffic. I really felt like giving up, but the two chocolate chip cookies I chowed down on for dessert... and everything else I ate provided enough motivation to muscle through the "I don't wanna".  Plus, I thought it would help me sleep tonight.  Seriously, I sit all day: driving to work, at work, during lunch, driving home from work.  I'm a sitter.

I'm liking my job.  I really enjoy some of the people, and there is a lot to learn.

Great things

"Expect great things from God.  Attempt great things for God." -William Carey

What are your expectations from God?  What are you attempting for God?  This was the crux of Bill's sermon on Ruth 3:6-15 today.  Challenging stuff.

belly flops

I know about belly flops.  I've knocked the air out of me by particularly spectacular belly flops, actual and metaphorical. They're one of my specialties.  But, there's a new belly flop in town, and, it's as awesome as mine!

Time to celebrate the irregular, the abnormal, the unexpected!  Here's to crazy jelly beans! And dollar stores that sell them!  To all of those who regularly participate in the glorious flop. Go, embrace the rejects because they're unique and sweet!

the sag wag, oh no

I ran my first race of the year today.  It was a family affair: my mom spectated, my uncle ran the 5k and I ran the half marathon.  The weather was perfect: sunny and low 60's.  It was a really good sized race-- probably about 350 in the half marathon.  It was an out and back format which meant that were 10 water stops (that's awesome if there are any non-runners reading).  However, there was a hill that was downhill going out and uphill finishing.  It's called "Murder Hill."

For the first mile I was following 789.  He caught my eye: his right arm had a sleeve of tats, he was sporting spandex shorts, he had a long, gray, pointy beard, and he had one of those earrings that force a hole in your ear.  You would have noticed him too.  After I got over my fascination with him, I chatted with him for the next five miles.  We use the same flavor Gu, so it was bound to happen.  Then, sadly, we parted ways. He sped along, and I gave him my blessing.

Here begins the sob story.  My hamstrings hurt and then got really tight, decreasing my gait.  Then my left hip started hurting.  Then, I had to walk because it hurt too badly to run.  Then it started to hurt to walk.  So, I ran, which hurt just as much, but is the point of a race.  I saw a golf cart and waved him down.  I said can you give me a ride. He said, "That's why I'm driving this thing around."  So, I hopped on.  He told me I'd gotten really far (I was at mile 11), but I told him I didn't want to chance it because running and walking both really hurt.

The first sag wag driver was a geology professor; the second one was an urban designer.  So, I was kind of glad I caught it.  They were really fun to chat with and got my mind off the pain-- as did the sitting.

I borrowed the professor's phone to call my mom to tell her I'd aborted the mission so not to get upset when she didn't see me.  After the sag wag delivered me to the finish (don't worry, I didn't cross the line), I saw 789 chilling.  I asked him how he did: he made his goal.  I told him I ended up golf carting it.

I then went out to brunch with the fam.  They were impressed with the fact that I finished 11 miles.  The food was delish, and I took some pain killers.  We went by the sponsors table, and a guy came up and asked me if I wanted a massage.  I asked him how much it cost.  Free.  So, by all means.  Geoff gave me a much needed (haha, get the pun) back massage.  He told me I needed to get massage and chiropractic treatments.  I told him I would (when my insurance kicks in). I came home and lay on a heating pad.

I had a good time even though it was nothing of what I expected.  I'm detecting a pattern.

Day 4: Testing out the service

I think I'm going to enjoy these people.

Exhibit 1:
We ate lunch in a gazebo.  Four of us were chatting and eating sandwiches, and we finally asked the guy from Argentina how he ended up here.  The reason: lady who is now his wife and mother of his children. She was from Ohio, and they met when he was a tour guide and she was a tourist.  He explained that she was "testing out the service."  I responded, "She must have liked it."

Exhibit 2:

While at lunch, I got a text from a friend that had just spoken with my supervisor and given a reference for me.  She texted, "I think you're going to keep your job."

Exhibit 3:

I hang out with the smokers because I like going outside for breaks too.  I was chatting with this one guy about Notre Dame joining the ACC.  While we got sidetracked, it came out he'd been really sick and had had a kidney transplant.

interlude on my writing

"I thought you were going to be chatty," the guy admitted, "But, it's okay."

I responded, "I don't really know you."

"But, I thought you were going to talk nonstop from your emails," his accusation continued.

"Well, I was answering specific questions when I wrote," I said.  

I couldn't go into the fact a lot of my verbal energy was tied up processing information about him... and my enthusiasm was waning with each input of information.  I was calculating his voice too high, his word choice juvenile, his vagueness circumspect, and his subject matter vapid.

He then complained that I wasn't laughing at his jokes.  

I was thinking: "Those were jokes?"

I'm relieved to report that I haven't heard from him since.  This was one of my best, most productive, most encouraging exchanges of all time.  This dude made me feel like a writer.  This isn't to dodge his bullet: I am inept on the phone.  But, I think no more than normal.  The unfunny dude was telling me that he really liked my writing.

It's a win-win.  I got encouragement and time to act on it!

Day 3: haHA

When the guy exclaimed "You've got it!" at 2:30 this afternoon, his voice was the sound of relief.  The poor dude was legitimately concerned about my understanding the information.  Good thing I come through in the clutch.

I guess they had the right to be nervous: it took me over twenty minutes to log in the first time.  But, I'm unravelling the logic of the systems and financial concepts.  Let's face it: I'm not afraid to ask questions... or interrupt... or ask the instructor to repeat what he said... or hazard a guess.

Plus, I've found a volunteer position as a safari guide to the greenway.  I took two excursions out today.  My morning excursion was with two guys in the class.  Then, over lunch, I muscled through the gag reflex with speed so that I could explore.  I found a buddy to go with me.  We saw a blue heron land on a tree!  We saw a model posing for a photographer at a waterfall.  We saw braille poems.  And, I got a huge cup of Starbucks so that I'd look alert through the afternoon.

Carpe Diem!  Work hard, play hard, get to know people.  I've got to make this job my own; it's up to me.  I've got to figure out how to make it work.  And, I am.

Day 2: Security questions and a shoe

Today can be summed up with this scene: I'm in the changing room at the Y gearing up for my run, pulling my clothes from my bag:  Top, tights, socks, and a running shoe.  A single shoe.  

This is why I pack important stuff the night before and didn't run.  Exhaustion.

Today's training consisted of only two hours of powerpoint.  This training reminds me of my semester in theology school: the total onslaught of new vocabulary for concepts I've used but without the technical know-how.   My inanely basic questions no-doubt irk the finance majors in the class.  But, everything is brand new to me.  I have a savings account, checking account, IRA, credit card, etc.; however, I haven't thought about them from the industry's standpoint.  It's the difference between reading Genesis on your own as a spiritual story, and then taking a class on it to analyze its structure, historicity, and authorship.

Then after lunch, I received my employee number and now have a computer log-in.  I had to answer my security questions and come up with passwords. Then we actually worked in three of the computer systems that we'll be using on training modules (so not to wreak too much havoc).  I've watched other people use them.  I felt like a monkey mimicking her trainer.

Observing people work has been trickier than I expected.  The first girl I observed was the best.  She was polite, honest, helpful, and methodical.  The next guy seemed impatient and didn't really engage with the members.  He presumed he understood their questions.  He actually said, "She had no idea what she wanted."  He hung up on another member.  The second girl was equally disappointing.

As I think about the position while I observe coworkers and listen to the instructors, I realize that I will have to make this into my job.  I'm still on a job hunt, and I will always be. There will always be some dissonance between the ideal and the reality. I'll have have to decide consciously what my job is every day.  I was drawn to this business because their motto is  "Do the right thing," and I want to follow it.  But, it'll be a lot like my seventh graders following the rules and rising above peer pressure.  I have a choice of who I am in every situation, especially this one.

It is as my uncle responded via email to my last post: "But just for the record, I didn't say dream jobs DON'T exist, I said there's just NOT TOO many out there.  And I still hold onto the hope that we can grow into jobs or use them to springboard into better ones.  Keep the faith!"

training: w1 d1

I arrived 30 minutes early, so I walked to Starbucks.  It opened in 28 minutes.  So, I walked to the greenway tucked under the campus of my company that runs along a sleepy creek.  (I think I'm going to enjoy that feature of the job.)

When I came back, there was a girl waiting outside the door.
Having a few episodes of Sherlock Holmes under my belt, I asked her, "Are you new?"
She said, "Yes."
I asked, "Were you told to be here at 8?"
She said, "Yes."
I said, "Good. I thought maybe I was going crazy."

We looked out at the vast, empty parking lot and the sign on the door that read: "Monday- Friday: 8:30-5:30." It was reassuring that she didn't know where to park, or how long training was or where we were supposed to be either.  We bonded as we laughed.

A two-week-old new hire let us in the building at 8:01.  Then, our boss arrived at 8:30 and told us to sit down at other peoples' desks, which we did while he printed off the paperwork we needed to fill out.

At 9:30, training commenced with a SVP who'd worked for the company for 36 years.  He was entertaining.  There was a powerpoint and lots of talking: first him and then others.  One long powerpoint.  It may have been never ending, and they simply stopped clicking.

They served a catered lunch, which was a pleasant surprise.  I walked over to the Starbucks again, and got a bogo Pumpkin Spice latte with one of the trainers.  It was a solid half-price move that got me through the afternoon of more power points and talking.

We couldn't log onto computers so they sent us up to the call center to listen on calls.  That was fun.

My first impression: I really like the people but not impressed with the organizational skills of the organization.

The highlight of my day came in the form of a text from my uncle.  Background: we'd been talking about this not being my dream job. He said that dream jobs didn't actually exist.  FYI: he thinks dream jobs have a lot in common with unicorns.  So, when I came up for air from the infinite powerpoint and droning, I discovered this text: "Here's my list of dream jobs: Quarterback for a NFL team, lead singer for a world famous rock band, concert pianist, airplane pilot, national sports talk r  adio host, owner of a major league franchise, author of at least two best selling novels, trust fund baby philanthropist."
I responded, "Fast food critic, satirist, sculptor." He responded, "Fast food critic- that's a keeper."  I felt loved and appreciated as I listened to the powerpoint's details.

C'est la vie.  God is good.

running report: week 5

Monday: 4mi
Tuesday: 7mi
Wednesday: 4mi
Thursday: rest
Friday: 7 mi
Saturday: 15 mi
Sunday: Walk (4mi) because the weather is so pretty and I'm so tired.

Total: 37 miles

Getting ready for work.  I'm a little apprehensive about how working and commuting is going to affect my training, but it's a good problem to have.  I'm going to pack running clothes and see what happens.  There's a cold front this week: highs in the 70's and 80's-- woo hoo!

I'm racing next Saturday!  I haven't done a half marathon in almost two years.  We'll see how it goes.  My uncle is going to run the 5k and we're going to go to brunch afterwards.

Right now, I'm not losing weight, but I can tell a difference in my body.  Not losing weight may have something to do with two celebratory dinners that included fillet mignon wrapped in bacon and chocolate desserts.  It's not like I'm logging 100 miles.

job hunt, phase 2

I found a job: full time with benefits.  It even required a college degree. It was frightfully easy and the entire process took less than two weeks.  It feels surreal in a way.  I have no clue why this company and job didn't occur to me before now.  But, it didn't.  I think I may even enjoy it.  At least the first year or so.

I start training Monday at 8a.m.  When I finish training, I'll work Friday-Monday 10am-9pm.  That means I'll have Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

I'm also going to teach a class on (spiritual) journal writing at my church, starting in late October.  I'll have an outlet for teaching.  Things are coming together.  Thanks be to God.

running report: week 4

Awesomeness!

A good week overall: 30.5 miles (should have been 36) totaled plus three hours of strength and conditioning.  All my "running" was on the elliptical due to my hip.  No flare ups.  However, my take away from elliptical is that I need to do at least a level 10, and go more by time then the mileage.  I'm not nearly as fatigued, esp. my legs, after the elliptical as I am after a run.  I try to get my heart rate in the 155-160 range for easy runs and 160-170 range for quick jaunts.  I was pleasantly surprised to find some pep in my step at the end of my long run-- got my heart rate to 172 after over 2 hours of sweating.

Monday: 4 mi
Tuesday: 7 mi
Wednesday: 4mi, 1 hr class Body Pump, 1 hr class Body Vive, whirl pool afterwards
Thursday: Rest
Friday: Rest (should have been 7 miles)
Saturday: 15.5 miles ( 14 were scheduled but I was feeling guilty for skipping a run.
Sunday: Body Pump, Body Flow

Notes:
I need to run harder and longer for my short runs-- do it based on time and heart rate and less on mileage.  Maybe 160 for 36-40 minutes (the four mile runs).

I need to up my weight in Body Pump.

I need to keep a journal of what I'm eating-- I'm eating like a friggin' scavenger.  Not gaining weight, but not losing it either.  It would be nice to my joints for me to lose some weight.

My gu and jelly beans got the job done with fueling during the work out!