I feel often I misconstrue openess and acceptance for resignation and failure. It's hard to enjoy something that you feel resigned to doing. And, and I've been fighting resignation is where I've been in my life recently. I feel if I relax into my job and life that it will somehow leech my spirit and future. But, I that's hogwash. As several of my friends point out on an annoyingly frequent nature, I'm in a season.
Today, as I walked down the eigth grade hall, I thought about how different it would look if I knew this was my last year being here. I'd find all the idiosyncracies quaint instead of annoying.
And, today I was really enjoying teaching poetry. It's fun. About half of each of my classes was getting into it too. I tried to bribe and/or ignore the other half. And, several of my students just came up and hugged me. L told me that my outfit was much better today, and that I shouldn't wear heels if I didn't like them. And, a student from last year came and hung out with me after school-- she told me how much I helped her. And, about eight kids stayed around to chat.
Now, I'm off to watch the soccer and baseball games. I have students playing in both. I just got finished helping the art teacher contour draw some of the sections of the mural. Today was a lovely day except for evil secretary yelling at me for something she screwed up. But, the good far outweighed the bad.
This is enjoyment and acceptance not resignation... I think. When I came back from helping with the mural, I had an email from a school I've sent an application. So, this may be my last year.
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