So... the running club. Yea. I'm opting out. I find it really stressful in an unhelpful, guilt-inducing way. I'm looking for a part-time job now and a full-time come August while working. I want to stay in shape, but I'm too competitive to enjoy working out with people that are better shape. I used to run 6 minute miles and sub 21 5ks. But I'm not there right now. M helped a great deal with comparing a running club to a therapist: you've got to shop around until you find the right fit. There's bound to be a running club that's more in line with my present running goals and aspirations.
I wrapped up Genesis finally in the Message (or the Massage). What struck me this go round was in the Joseph strain at the end of Chapter 46: "Joseph then spoke to his brothers and his father's family.... When Pharaoh calls you in and asks what kind of work you do, tell him, 'Your servants have always kept livestock for as long as we can remember-- we and our parents also.' That way he'll let you stay apart in the area of Goshen-- for Egyptians look down on anyone who is a shepherd."
Jacob's family is set apart alright. This story seems counter-intuitive to me. I rarely try to undersell my family, friends or myself. I hate to be underestimated. For instance, in the above running club, I always got an incredible urge to casually drop into the conversation that I was a varsity athlete at UNC-- I hate being judged by my old, chubby self. God doesn't have my hangups. God's wisdom is foolishness in the world's eye. Our God raises a king after his own heart from a shepherd boy. God explains himself in a metaphor as the Great Shepherd. In some ways this passage foreshadows the Pharaoh's disdain for Moses, Aaron and Yahweh. People always crash on Moses for not wanting to speak to Pharaoh with a stutter, but I understand his hesitation. Presentation is sometimes more important than substance but not for God.
This passage also made me think of all the handicapped people at my church. These children and men are safe and loved in church. I interact with them; they're a part of the body. I love sharing the peace of Christ with F; he says it with utter gusto. Our God's economy is mysterious, beautiful and full of grace. I don't feel identified with my occupation and efficiency when I'm worshipping-- all my "accomplishments" seem rinky-dink compared to our great God. I have to confess my skewed priorities and identity.
In church, we pray this as a part of the Eucharist-- it's from the Kenyan liturgy: "O God of our ancestors, God of our people, before whose face the human generations pass away: We thank you that in you we are kept safe forever, and that the broken fragments of our history are gathered up in the redeeming act of your dear Son, remembered in this holy sacrament of bread and wine. Help us to walk daily in the Communion of Saints, declaring our faith in the forgiveness of sins and the resurrection of the body. Now send us out in the power of your Holy Spirit to live and work for your praise and glory. Amen."
I am kept safe forever. The broken fragments of my history are gathered up in the redeeming act of Jesus and remembered weekly during Eucharist. God's not scared or intimidated or disgusted in my weakness because He has redeemed it.
I'll finish and edit later.
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