Weltschmerz: Must Speak Bhutanese
My routine: find out about a job. Apply: write a cover letter and rework an existing resume after researching the company/organization. Wait. Interview. Wait. Somewhere during the process I generally fall in love with the job, and daydream about doing the job. What would I wear? Would I eat lunch at my desk? The process can stop prematurely at any stage. My latest crush ended at 12:11 this afternoon with a “we decided to offer the job to a Bhutanese speaking interpreter we are waiting for the approval of the NC state office. If the status changes we will call you back.”
But, I have to say this was one of the best rejections I’ve received. What do you say to that? I don’t know Spanish let alone Bhutanese; it’s a major oversight in my education. And, I thought I was specialized.
Rejection and failure happen on a regular basis, especially when you’re an idealist. Germans Romantics even coined a word for it: weltschmerz. They added the German words “world” + “pain” to get “worldpain”. According to Merriam-Webster online, there are two definitions:
1. mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state
2. a mood of sentimental sadness.
Of course, there’s a time and place for sentimental sadness when dealing with rejection as any teenager will demonstrate. I had a friend who had a three-day rule with a breakup that he learned from his grandmother. According to him, one is allotted three days of moping misery, and one must put her all into the grief because that’s all you get.
Apathy is definitely a popular option. Disengagement has a lot of different routes whether drugs or chosen ignorance or denial.
There are also really great platitudes to use as a mantras to beef up your will power: “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”– Confucius. There’s also work one can put into the front end of rejection and failure. It’s what my sister constantly reminds me to do: manage my expectations. She says I need to be realistic about myself and others. There is a place for cautious optimism emphasis on cautious. She reminds me that there are too many variables in any situation that I don’t know and have no control over.
However, when I opened my Bhutanese rejection, I laughed. Mirth. Yet another option. How ridiculous is this? I’m tired of getting “overqualified” as a reason for not getting a job. It is hard to argue with someone who says “life is pain” because they have a lot of evidence to settle his case. But, maybe I should start thinking in terms of “life is strange” because strangeness allows for room to be shocked and laugh.
Two weeks ago, I was miring in Weltschmerz. Lingering in it. My entire life was feeling like unjust punishment. A Wendell Berry line functioned as my lifeline out of the mental quicksand:
“…Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.” (Manifesto: Mad Farmer Liberation Front)
The Bhutanese clause jolted me out of the week’s funk. It reminded me that my life is a comedy because we are guaranteed a happy ending. It reminded me that I’m owed nothing and know very little. It also gave me hope: if someone can find a job because of Bhutanese then there’s bound to be a job for me using my wacky, miscellaneous skills, experiences and education. Right? Granted, there aren’t refugees in need of Latin and Ancient Greek... unless the zombie movies are for real. Then, I could be the zombie whisperer.
I’m attending a class on the fruits of the Spirit. As coincidence would have it, this past Wednesday was on joy. Of course, there was a differentiation made between joy and happiness. It was also mentioned that the Spiritual fruits were more in line with character traits than with emotion. In the same way God is love and peace, we are to become love, peace, joy, gentleness and etc. It’s hard to wrap my head around joy as a character trait, but I know I’ve encountered people who have joy deeply woven into their soul. And, it’s different than happiness and luck and optimism. I’m thinking mostly of older people who have had rough lives; they earned the right to be bitter. But joy is who they are—it’s in line with gentleness, peace and self-control.
But, we have “to struggle for joy.” It brought me to the ubiquitous concept of dialectic in seminary. Joy is hard earned; it isn’t a default setting. Joy has stiff competition: anger, bitterness, and apathy. But, joy, like enjoyment in Ecclesiastes, is ultimately a gift. It is unattainable on our own striving. Ah, the alchemy of faith, obedience, and grace. Laughter, gratitude, hope, and kindness are all part of the arsenal that help us struggle towards joy—confidence in a big and good God… even after having considered all the facts.
*http://luc.devroye.org/bhutan.html (image address)
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