heartbreak and/or new beginning

I didn't get my dream job, which sucks. I've cried for at least two hours, and some of it was in public. I'm glad it's allergy season because I could play off my red eyes and nose. My poor aunt had to have lunch with me just after I found out. She was a champ. And I had appointments to get my hair cut and my eyebrows done. So, I came out looking significantly better and a little pampered. And, I stopped by the JL warehouse, and all the thrift clothes were 30% off for Easter. Nothing says resurrection like a sale.

My heart is still broken, but I realized if I can't land that teaching job, then I should definitely look for something else. It's as my aunt said that the universe was trying to tell me something with all the closed doors. But, what else? She also told me that I was feeling sorry for myself, and I agreed with her. She's right. But, I need to look outside the box. It's hard not to take it personally and figure out what's wrong with me. I keep waiting for rejection to get easier. Instead I need to figure out, do I move so I can use my master's? In what other fields do I make sense? I had a conversation this week about DC, and my high school reunion is coming up... in DC. Maybe it's a sign.

People frequently make the comparisons between landing a job and finding a boyfriend. I have no problems with being single for the most part, but being without a job isn't an option. I'm glad I've found this temporary job, but it's also depressing to realize that this is the only job I've been offered in quite a while. I wonder where God is in all of this. I've heard plenty of platitudes during this, and I realize people talk even when they have no clue what they're talking about. I'm guilty. Right now I don't have the imagination or energy to think about my future, but I will.