Lost in the Cosmos. Itchy scratchy with energy to do something worthwhile and amazing. It's frustrating and exciting. It happens to me even when I'm engaged in a job. Restlessness. The complete inability to say, "This is it, and it's enough." It' good to realize this on the outside of a job or marriage or parenthood in order to realize it's internal friction... and it's not all bad. It just needs to be channelled.
"All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy." -Romans 8:22-5 (The Message)
This said, today was filled with effective busyness. I finished and faxed my appeal. I'm further along on my Advent class that happens Saturday. And, I'm more and more aware of how much I lucked out in the mom department. I got top of the line. This holds true for my entire nuclear family and a lot of the extended. I can used "blessed" in this category and feel overly cheesy. This diatribe is sponsored by the 2.5 hours my mom worked with me editing and honing the appeal. She's really smart and educated plus she's really into acting out her love. One time, Mom did something pretty amazing, way over the expected. I thanked her sheepishly and told her she didn't have to do it. She said, "I tell you 'I love you', but the words would ring hollow if I didn't back it up with action." Or something along those lines. It's pretty solid.
1 comment:
Hi Pinkling, I'm thinking of you and hoping you'll feel encouraged soon (and find a great job).
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