pomo tribes, etc.

Samuel Salcedo

The universe feels full of surprisingly heavy, sharp objects-- shards of glass.  I keep waiting for life to make sense... to be logical.  But, I'm standing too close to it.  If I could understand then I could control it, right?  Thanks, Descartes, for setting me up for disappointment and a life of low-grade frustration.

Relief came in the form of "aha" listening to James Houston's lecture.  I've been flailing against these ridiculous, nonsensical, purposeless classes that prove nothing but are necessary to certification.  Houston relieved my angst: Postmodernism has returned to a tribalism, and professionalism is the new tribalism.  Overall, I agree with his take from experiencing 1) certification hoops that must be jumped, 2) the existential angst that comes with unemployment (granted I'm prone to all forms of angst in all situations), 3) observing my mom's decision-making process regarding retirement and my friends who've chosen to stay at home with their children.

I listened to his lecture on identity at least three times.  Ontology fascinates and plagues me.  He basically said that people who stick with "what" questions can find answers, and people who ask "why" questions will discover more questions.  What I understood him to say is that there is no I.  Our fierce individualism is a fallacy.  The elemental level of society is not the individual, but the mother and child. We are not islands.  Replacing "we" with "I" has caused of a lot of problems.  "We" has room for love.  "I" will always be pitted against the other.  "We" can be enlarged to the point that "other" no longer exists.  In this sense, All Saints' Day is more important than Christmas, Easter, and Pentecost. All Saints is the answer to Jesus' prayer in John 17.  I'm oversimplifying.

He wasn't limiting or denigrating our personhood, but saying that we are persons only through relationships.  We weren't designed to be individuals.  We are limited in our ability to engage in relationship by our degree of self-knowledge.  We really need to plumb the feelings and memories behind our ideas and attitudes.

We're like Zacheus perched in a tree, wanting to glimpse and experience Jesus from a distance and on our own terms.  That's the blessing and curse of the Christian life: after encountering Christ you cannot remain the same.   To encounter Jesus is to be truly seen and known-- absolute vulnerability in the surest of loves.

But, the fruits of the spirit make sense in the context of relationship when you think about it.  Gentleness, kindness and patience, etc. wouldn't be that necessary on a deserted island.  Self control on the other hand...

It's a beautiful lecture; I'll be contemplating if for a long time.