survey

Next week I'm going to meet with a head-hunter of sorts; she's doing it as a favor to my aunt, I gather-- or sheer altruism. Last night and today I filled out a survey of questions she asks her clients. The process of answering was clarifying and exhausting; I relearned the power of a good question*. It revealed how cloudy my thinking is and ways I've gone off course. It is good timing after taking the Meyers Briggs and getting the JOTC. I'm preparing as much as possible so that I can glean as much as possible out of it!

Instead of focusing on everything that's wrong with me and things I lack (hey, who doesn't want to be beautiful?), perhaps I should consider my strengths as strengths even I have no idea how to market them or myself**. For instance, I have no business looking for a job in public schools or even Christian schools in this area, I didn't fit in when I was a student and I don't fit now. And, the survey helped me define my need to believe in what I do. This week, several people (my uncle and a sales lady) have mentioned particular subjects that make me light up. Also, interning at my church, I'm getting insight into the way I tick. I'm not the efficiency model that my sister is.

Also, I need to differentiate between things I like (writing) and things I'm good at (exegesis). Furthermore, I need to figure out the components of situations that I like and loathe. I need to dissect all my interviews into their different components. Generally, I think in terms of emotion (how I felt during and after) and the person (do I like, do I connect). It's caveman logic. I'm more evolved than that; I have the mental facilities to take a step or two further.


* Both Plato and John Calvin are fans of self-examination and self-knowledge. They fail to mention that it is exhausting and humbling. DeSales suggests looking into yourself only in view of the cross. Otherwise it's too dark.

**Hope is hard (and sometimes laughable) right now. But, I found this prayer of confession, based on the ten commandments. One of the first questions is "Have you despaired of God's mercy?" Hmm.