notes

I need to write several notes that I've been avoiding. I need to write thank you notes for presents that were insults. My mother and sister suggested effusive thanks as the solution for this connundrum. This is my brain storm: "That is the nicest p.o.s. I have ever seen! I have no idea how I ever lived without it until this point! Thank you for rectifying that egregious wrong! I am so lucky to have a friend like you! Forever grateful, XOXO" Wow, how southern would that be? Awesome. Bless their hearts.

On a more sober note, a friend's parent committed suicide last week. I wrote her a brief note when I received her message, but I know something more substantive is necessary. She's getting married in the spring, and she's an awesome, uber-talented, super-bright human being. The kind of person that I swing between being jealous and in awe she's friends with me. I guess, I should write a letter of friendship and respect. We, humans, are such a hurting and hurtful bunch. Is there a poem that would suit the situation? There's always Auden's "Funeral Blues". Maybe, a Emily Dickinson-- it'd be cool and kind of a joke too. (If you'd gone to my high school-- you'd be laughing right now.) Would it be incredibly gauche to send her a paint by number picture to do? Maybe Van Gogh's Sunflowers or something? It would be something kind of fun... or am I completely off the mark?

And, I need to write a letter of apology. Hopefully, I'll get to say it in person, but it'll be cathartic to write it out, and will help to deliver the message. I'm already losing my nerve. I need to plan if it goes well... or poorly. I don't want to show emotion. I want to be my most rational. We shall see.

Ah, I'd be content (for at least a day) if I were able to communicate my thoughts and feelings accurately to my friends. No, not the great American novel, but a well-written, well-intentioned note. Perhaps, I should forego the sarcasm on the thank yous.