excruciatingly odd

Today was an excruciatingly odd day filled with the mundane and earth-shattering. I handled both with nil grace. I woke up to some pre-international flight drama via my sister. We survived the drama and took her to the airport for her trip to Nicarauga. We came home and I schooled i-tunes in some undisclosed way. We then headed off to a family brunch. The food was inconsequential, but the news was stupendous. My cousin's wife is pregnant. (My cousin who got married in May.) He's also not going to be deployed to Iraq due to the new three-year withdrawal plan.

The Chief and I then shopped at independent lighting and hardware stores for a reading lamp for my bedroom's new chair. The floor lamp I purchased yesterday left the Chief nunplussed. It was too cheap and sans style. Her accusations were accurate, but after spending hours on the quest, we gave up. As we drove to the second store, I realized a large part of my annoyance stemmed from me being fine with my lamp and being drug through this process. I ended up getting a free coffee because they'd run out at the shop. I sat outside in the sun, nibbling on a pastry and nursing the fresh coffee. The vitamin D and caffeine did me some good. I ended the shopping trip with buying the perfect Christmas present for my hall's custodian.

I think today pained me because it awoke the angst of singleness I'm so good at avoiding (that's too strong a word choice; it's more a non-issue). At the brunch, my cousin said to me that maybe his foray into marriage and parenting might encourage us lolly-gaggers. I just sat there because how do I explain that I would love to be married and a mom if I met the right guy. These aspirations are becoming less and less feasible, but strangely that doesn't make me willing to settle for any guy who demonstrates interest. And, this ache compounded with my sister's many successes and adventures. She's making the most of her singleness travelling internationally and making a six-figure salary. But, me, I teach reluctant ingrates and write a blog nobody reads. Yet, the sunsets and brisk afternoons are still mine to enjoy. It is good to be reminded that from dust I was made and to dust I shall return. Psalms are for days like today. Somehow shopping for lighting and finding none was the most apropos way to have spent my afternoon. C'est la vie.