back to school

It's my first day back tomorrow. I'm equal parts dread and excitement. My job is never boring. It creates a vortex that sucks my time, energy and confidence. I get to revel in my inadequacy and waking up at 5:30 in the morning. But, I'm excited to see some of my kids (most of my kids), and to get back to a routine no matter how rigid and long it is.

I feel that I know what I'm entering far better than I did in August. I won't have planning periods because of my student who was put on half day. We're going to be testing, which I'm not sure what that'll look like, but I know it will be disruptive. But, I also know how to schedule my periods more effectively. I have so much work (grading, correspondence, meetings, planning), but I'm learning how to get that done methodically and deal with it always hanging over my head. But, I developed some exciting ideas for some of my classes and found some cool books. I wish my classes had about 20 students instead of about 30 students. But, I'm learning a lot, and I do have a job.

I'm being forced into being patient, gracious, grateful and humble. But, the sooner we start, the sooner June comes! I have to remind myself I'm only crying about once a week now, which is notable improvement. I have planned some self-care: a book club, tickets to the symphony, and training for two half marathons. This should provide some balance. And, I remind myself the first year of teaching is supposed to be brutal. It's just that I was hoping for something a little easier after the two violent years before. If I survive this third year of hell, I'll either be a phantom or more mature. I cannot wait to turn thirty.

I need to decide whether or not I'll teach (in public school) next year because it'll determine if I take the education courses I'll need for certification.

Completely unrelated, my car is back to getting decent gas mileage. For about a month, it was getting 24.4 miles to the gallon. Now, it's back up between 27 and 30mpg. This is a load off as I prepare to take some classes.